On Sat, 2002-05-11 at 22:32, Daniel Feiglin wrote:
> "From information that has come to our attention, there is suspicion ("oleh
> chashad") that in your organisation, there is inconsistency ("choser hatama")
> between the the number of programmes installed on computers belonging to your
> company, and the number of licenses which you purchased for those programmes".
There is only feasible response to such a letter:
Dear Mr. Mey-Tal et al,
We have recieved your letter entitled $Title, dated $Date on $Rec_Date
and will be very happy to to supply you the information requested.
Unfortunatly, it is my sad duty to report to you that it might take some
time to retrieve the information requested, as all of our of our book
keeping database (including the software licenses and machine details)
were kept on an MS-SQL server which crashed the previous week and
despite repeated attempts to restore is still not functional.
Our sysadmin has assured us that he is dealing with the issue through
our paid dedicated support person within your organization. However,
since we found him dead on his desk while his hand was still clutcing to
the phone when we came to office today i am able to supply you with an
estimation as to aexactly how much time this will require.
The database was of course backed up regulary, but it would seem that
the MSCE who installed the Windows NT file server on which the backup
was made have neglected to install a "Service Pack" (I'm sorry, I am not
a technical person so I have no idea what this mean) and as a result
some misguided teenager named "dade" has took over over the backup
machine and used the 16 Terabyte backup robot to store MP3 files of the
entire album set and concerts of "Greatfull Dead" over the years, thus
destroying the backup.
Because of aforementioned conditions, you can understand that despite
our complete and utter commitment to supplying you the requested
information, it may indeed take some time before it becomes available
again.
Please note that since the intruder that took out the backup robot has
also installed some rouge software named "back orifice" on our Windows2k
based firewall, we are temporarily without Internet connectivity. In
fact I am writing this on my Palm pilot connected via a modem. It may
take some time therefore to recieve your reply, if any. Please be
patient.
Sincerly,
J Random Luser
MIS Manager
Rnadom inc.
--
Gilad Ben-Yossef <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Code mangler, senior coffee drinker and VP SIGSEGV
Qlusters ltd.
"To err is human. To realy fsck up you need a computer. For
those really large scale disastears, an SSI cluster is a must."
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