Hillarious

[Gil Elad]

/*

            TOP SECRET Microsoft(c)  Code
            Project: Chicago(tm)
            Projected release-date: MAY 1998
           $History$
        */

        #include "win31.h"
        #include "win95.h"
        #include "evenmore.h"
        #include "oldstuff.h"
        #include "billrulz.h"
        #define INSTALL = HARD

        char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

        void main()
        {
            while(!CRASHED)
            {
                display_copyright_message();
                display_bill_rules_message();
                do_nothing_loop();
                if (first_time_installation)
                {
                    make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
                    do_nothing_loop();
                    totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();

                    search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
                    hang_system();
                }
                write_something(anything);
                display_copyright_message();
                do_nothing_loop();
                do_some_stuff();
                if (still_not_crashed)
                {
                    display_copyright_message();
                    do_nothing_loop();
                    basically_run_windows_3.1();
                    do_nothing_loop();
                    do_nothing_loop();
                }
            }

            if (detect_cache())
                disable_cache();

            if (fast_cpu())
            {
                set_wait_states(lots);
                set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
                set_mouse(action, jumpy);
                set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
            }

            /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
            /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
            printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
            if (system_ok())
                 crash(to_dos_prompt);
            else
                system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp" O_CREATE);

            while(something)
            {
                sleep(5);
                get_user_input();
                sleep(5);
                act_on_user_input();
                sleep(5);
            }
            create_general_protection_fault();
        }



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