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My very humble apologies to any Scots on the list but this is very
tongue in cheek & very funny !!!! Please don't take offence !!!!
:
40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Scotland sunbathe. 35 degrees - Italian cars won't start. People in Scotland drive with the windows down. 20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Scotland throw on shorts and a T-shirt. 15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Scotland go swimming in the sea. 0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on. People in Scotland have a last barbi before it gets cold. -10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct. People in Scotland lick flagpoles. -20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico. People in Scotland throw on a light jacket. -80 degrees - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic. Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets > cold enough. -100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps. -173 degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Scotland get angry 'cos they can't thaw their whisky. -297 degrees - Microbiotic life starts to grind to a halt. Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands. -460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops. People in Scotland start saying " A bit hill billy ... eh? " -500 degrees - Hell freezes over. Scottish people support England in the World Cup |
