Something’s in the air. Is it excitement or disappointment? With Leeds
United, the two things often come in abundance. Last year, excitement gave
way to misanthropy. People walked towards Elland Road knowing mediocrity
was on the cards.

Something is amiss. People can’t figure out what is going on. Tweeters are
tweeting. Forumers are foruming.

Is Ken Bates finally fucking off?

You dream about it. You thought the day would never come. Suddenly rumours
abound, running at you, knocking you over like excited dogs. They leave
turds of misinformation lying around the place. Occasionally you step into
one of them, complain about it, then realise that these dogs have been
eating gold bars on the sly, and you’re riding this turd train to a well
informed future.

What am I trying to say? We have finally reached the point, as a fan base,
that there are so many rumours about Bates leaving, about him selling up,
that you feel something is amiss. The situation has got progressively
weirder at Elland Road as well.

The summer began all hunky-dory. Warnock was being backed. The defence was
being shored up. Jason Pearce, an actual prospect with an actual future
ahead of him, had agreed to join Leeds United. He’d been given an actual
contract. Leeds United, heaven forbid, had paid actual cash-money for him
to join. We were harvesting the corpse of another club that had collapsed
for any useful organs. It was exciting.

Then we stalled. Joel Ward, who two weeks ago was someone Leeds fans were
unconvinced by, has become the messiah. His un-signing has become the
non-symbol for all of the things that have already gone anti-right this
summer. Ipswich may beat us once again to another player. What is it about
players that Leeds have or want to have that make them desire East Anglia
so? Are they curious about the former homeland of the Iceni? Are they
intending to do master’s degrees at Cambridge? Have we been approaching too
many intellectual players? These are all questions I ask myself whilst
shuffling around town, screaming at passers-by and dealing with those damn
government spies who want to harvest my brain facts.

So why has this occurred? Word emanating from the club, filtering through
relatively official channels such as the Yorkshire Evening Post, suggest
that we can’t, at this moment in time, drum up the £400,000 required to
bring him in. Warnock wants him, and there are rumours that he might leave
if this situation is not dealt with upon return from his holidays.

Then there’s the Snodgrass issue. He’s come out this week and outright
pointed out that he had promises broken last summer. He’s not going to sign
his contract unless he can see a future at the club. This, interestingly
enough, has been met with acceptance from Peter Lorimer. Something seems
awry there.

Finally, and most interestingly enough, was the news that Ken Bates is
taking the summer off from being interviewed on Yorkshire Radio. This is
incredibly bizarre, as, to put it simply, a significant reason why Bates
purchased Leeds United and continued to own us, was that he loved being in
the public eye. Former chairman Ken Bates was not interesting to the
national media. With Leeds, he once again found a reason to be talked
about, and where better to be talked about than his own in-house media
setup? Why would he suddenly give that up? There’s no precedent. Last
summer his interviews were one of very few constant updates from the club.

There are several ways to interpret this. The first, and the one I like to
jump to in order that I don’t get all giddy, is that Bates is avoiding the
spotlight in order to avoid further legal issues. Is it just a response to
the court case that has pulled even more money out of the club?

Secondly, we could be heading to another financial combustion. This may
come as a surprise, but I’m not the biggest fan of the Bates regime. Even
so, I like to think Ken would not be delusional enough to constantly talk
about the firm financial footing we are on whilst simultaneously battling
an oncoming financial storm. Hey, there may be a surprise in store. I like
to think this is unlikely.

Thirdly, and finally, we could be on the cusp of a honest, truthful, real,
actual, factual, natural, understandable, takeover. In my guise as a fake
writer about football, I jaunt around town in a trilby with a card saying
‘press’ stuck in it. I keep an ear to the ground for any undercurrents of
information. I’ve heard relatively concrete rumours that Ken Bates may be
on his way out. The internet, simultaneously, has heard the same. I’m even
withholding some information that I feel doesn’t need to be proliferated,
on the basis that the rumours one can find seem enough to speculate upon.
They (and whoever they are, they love their metaphors) often say that there
is no smoke without fire. I like to think this is true, but I’m avoiding
raising my hopes too highly on the off-chance that I get burned.

Why else may this be true? Well, we could be avoiding spending money as
some baffling method of saving money before Bates sells up. “Why would I
spend my own penny on players when some Johnny Foreigner will come in and
spend it instead?” I imagine Ken saying, whilst sat atop a throne made up
of the disappointments Leeds fans have felt over the last seven years. But
the point stands. Similarly, why would Lorimer speak so positively about
meeting Snodgrass’s expectations. He’s usually responsible for ensuring we
all understand that signing players is a luxury that successful football
clubs don’t require.

To sum it all up, what is going on at Elland Road? It’s difficult to say. I
may look back on this article as a foolish statement years from now, when
we’re plying our trade in the Home Counties division 3, having relocated
under the control of Mecha-Bates, but I think his time is almost up at
Elland Road. Finally.

Did you like this? Follow @awinehouse1 <http://twitter.com/awinehouse1> on
twitter to find out when more pseudo-nonsense is being put up on Spoughts.
Dr Michael Benjamin,
Community Psychiatrist
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