One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in 
despair, he has his first meeting with the devil... 

Satan: Why so glum? 

Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell! 

Satan: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a 
drinking man? 

Guy: Sure, I love to drink. 

Satan: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do 
is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, tab and fresca. We 
drink till we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don't have 
to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway. 

Guy: Gee, that sounds great! 

Satan: You a smoker? 

Guy: You better believe it! 

Satan: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars 
from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no 
biggie, you're already dead, remember? 

Guy: Wow... that's awesome! 

Satan: I bet you like to gamble.< BR> 
Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do. 

Satan: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, 
Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt...it doesn't 
matter, you're dead anyhow. 

Guy: Cool! 

Satan: What about Drugs? 

Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean... 

Satan: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big 
bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You 
can do all the drugs you want. You're dead, who cares. 

Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place! 

Satan: You gay? 

Guy: No... 

Satan: Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough.



 RED  


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