Well, I figured out a solution. Just in case someone in the future has
the same problem as me, here's what I did:

(1) Delete all that script in the <head> section
(2) Do this in the <body>:

<a href="%%picture%%" rel="lytebox"><img style="display:none" src="%
%picture%%" onLoad="this.style.display='block'" alt=""></a>

So all I did was call up a picture in the database (which may or may
not exist), giving it a default state of 'display:none', and if it
actually found a picture, then show it. Seems kind of...improper, but
it works in both IE6 and FF, which is good enough for me.

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