On Thu, 2006-03-09 at 23:30 +0100, Claus Schwarm wrote: > Hi, > > two suggestion if I'm not too late already: > > 1.) The first sentence is too long: Please stop it after "platforms" > otherwise people with low attention will stop reading right there. > 2.) "includes" sounds strange. Why not just remove it? > > The paragraph then reads: > > "GNOME 2.14 is the latest version of the GNOME Desktop; a popular, > multi-platform desktop environment for Linux™, UNIX™ and other > platforms. Based on Free and Open Source Software, GNOME provides all > of the common tools computer users have come to expect of a modern > computing environment, as well as a flexible and powerful platform for > software developers."
I like this much better. It flows much nicer too. I made the changes. Thanks, Bob -- Bob Kashani GARNOME Project http://www.gnome.org/projects/garnome _______________________________________________ gnome-i18n mailing list gnome-i18n@gnome.org http://mail.gnome.org/mailman/listinfo/gnome-i18n
