johnament commented on a change in pull request #77:
URL: https://github.com/apache/incubator/pull/77#discussion_r548032124



##########
File path: pages/guides/press-kit.ad
##########
@@ -20,24 +20,25 @@ Apache Incubator PMC
 
 == Apache Incubator Graphics
 
-This page contains various graphical assets that are intended to be used by 
Apache Incubator podlings and their communities.
-The Apache Software Foundation owns all Apache-related trademarks, service 
marks, and graphic logos. You can read our 
link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/marks/[formal Trademark Policy] that 
addresses allowable uses and how to contact us for permissions.
+This page contains various graphical assets that Apache Incubator podlings and 
their communities can use.
+The Apache Software Foundation owns all Apache-related trademarks, service 
marks, and graphic logos. Our 
link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/marks/[formal Trademark Policy] addresses 
allowable uses and how to contact us for permissions.
+
 The Apache Incubator provides two main types of graphic:
 
 - Incubator Graphics - the official Apache Incubator logo
 - “Powered By” Apache Incubator Logos - to be used by Apache Incubator podlings
 
-Please note that each Apache podling provides and maintains their own official 
project logo on their homepage. The best place to ask for a copy of a project 
logo is on their dev@ mailing list.
+Please note that each Apache podling provides and maintains their own official 
project logo on their home page. The best place to ask for a copy of a project 
logo is on the podling's dev@ mailing list.
 
 == Downloadable Graphics
 
 This section contains downloadable graphics of the Apache Incubator logo.
 
-REMINDER: all graphics/images/logos are trademarks of the ASF, and must not be 
used without appropriate attribution and permission from the ASF. Please see 
our formal Trademark Policy for more details. In particular, as a 
vendor-neutral public charity that provides independent governance to all 
Apache projects, you must use care when displaying the feather, and ensure it's 
clear that it's referring to the ASF as an independent organization.
+REMINDER: all graphics/images/logos are trademarks of the ASF. You must not 
use them without appropriate attribution and permission from the ASF. See our 
formal Trademark Policy for more details. We are a vendor-neutral public 
charity that provides independent governance to all Apache projects, so you 
must use care when displaying the feather, and ensure it's clear that it's 
referring to the ASF as an independent organization.

Review comment:
       I think the passive here "and must not be used" is on purpose, it makes 
it clear that no one should use without attribution/permission.

##########
File path: pages/guides/press-kit.ad
##########
@@ -20,24 +20,25 @@ Apache Incubator PMC
 
 == Apache Incubator Graphics
 
-This page contains various graphical assets that are intended to be used by 
Apache Incubator podlings and their communities.
-The Apache Software Foundation owns all Apache-related trademarks, service 
marks, and graphic logos. You can read our 
link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/marks/[formal Trademark Policy] that 
addresses allowable uses and how to contact us for permissions.
+This page contains various graphical assets that Apache Incubator podlings and 
their communities can use.
+The Apache Software Foundation owns all Apache-related trademarks, service 
marks, and graphic logos. Our 
link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/marks/[formal Trademark Policy] addresses 
allowable uses and how to contact us for permissions.
+
 The Apache Incubator provides two main types of graphic:
 
 - Incubator Graphics - the official Apache Incubator logo
 - “Powered By” Apache Incubator Logos - to be used by Apache Incubator podlings
 
-Please note that each Apache podling provides and maintains their own official 
project logo on their homepage. The best place to ask for a copy of a project 
logo is on their dev@ mailing list.
+Please note that each Apache podling provides and maintains their own official 
project logo on their home page. The best place to ask for a copy of a project 
logo is on the podling's dev@ mailing list.
 
 == Downloadable Graphics
 
 This section contains downloadable graphics of the Apache Incubator logo.
 
-REMINDER: all graphics/images/logos are trademarks of the ASF, and must not be 
used without appropriate attribution and permission from the ASF. Please see 
our formal Trademark Policy for more details. In particular, as a 
vendor-neutral public charity that provides independent governance to all 
Apache projects, you must use care when displaying the feather, and ensure it's 
clear that it's referring to the ASF as an independent organization.
+REMINDER: all graphics/images/logos are trademarks of the ASF. You must not 
use them without appropriate attribution and permission from the ASF. See our 
formal Trademark Policy for more details. We are a vendor-neutral public 
charity that provides independent governance to all Apache projects, so you 
must use care when displaying the feather, and ensure it's clear that it's 
referring to the ASF as an independent organization.
 
 === Official Incubator Logo
 
-This is the latest version of the Apache Incubator logo, as launched in March 
2017. This logo is to be used on ALL podling pages during the incubation 
process.
+This is the latest version of the Apache Incubator logo, as launched in March 
2017. Use this logo on ALL podling website pages during the incubation process.

Review comment:
       This new verbiage doesn't read well to me.  Perhaps "This logo must be 
used on ALL podling websites..."




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