Hi Lars, Thanks for your review and comments. Please see zzh> below.
Juniper Business Use Only -----Original Message----- From: Lars Eggert via Datatracker <nore...@ietf.org> Sent: Sunday, November 3, 2024 3:43 PM To: gen-art@ietf.org Cc: b...@ietf.org; draft-ietf-bier-php....@ietf.org; last-c...@ietf.org Subject: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-bier-php-12 [External Email. Be cautious of content] Reviewer: Lars Eggert Review result: Ready with Nits # genart-lc review of draft-ietf-bier-php-12 CC @larseggert I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the [FAQ](https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://wiki.ietf.org/group/gen/GenArtFAQ__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!C5_JKez9O4U-svnuGSyk13JIfXOJWKh9nCEah0lMNkABZ_TrVUJLXhCGJQGn5ozCkf9dQBisJ0ioBVM$ ). ## Comments ## Comments ### Section 2, paragraph 2 ``` The procedures outlined in this section are applicable only if, through means outside the scope of this document, it is established that all potential penultimate hop BFRs are capable of supporting PHP (i.e., able to remove the BIER header when forwarding to a requesting flow overlay router) and that the payload following the BIER header is one of the following: ``` This paragraph would benefit from the use of RFC2119 language. Zzh> Are you referring to the "are applicable only if" part? I am not sure what to change to. "MUST be used only if"? That does not sound right either - unless I use "ONLY IF" (but that is not 2119 language). Zzh> Or do you mean that "is one of the following" should be "MUST be one of the following"? But then would I need to change "it is established" to "it MUST be established" as well? Zzh> I fee the current form is most natural. ### Inclusive language Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/*inclusive_language__;Iw!!NEt6yMaO-gk!C5_JKez9O4U-svnuGSyk13JIfXOJWKh9nCEah0lMNkABZ_TrVUJLXhCGJQGn5ozCkf9dQBissthFXjY$ for background and more guidance: * Term `traditional`; alternatives might be `classic`, `classical`, `common`, `conventional`, `customary`, `fixed`, `habitual`, `historic`, `long-established`, `popular`, `prescribed`, `regular`, `rooted`, `time-honored`, `universal`, `widely used`, `widespread` * Term `natively`; alternatives might be `built-in`, `fundamental`, `ingrained`, `intrinsic`, `original` Zzh> I changed "traditional" to "conventional", and changed "natively" to "directly" (unpublished yet). ## Nits All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by automated tools (via https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!C5_JKez9O4U-svnuGSyk13JIfXOJWKh9nCEah0lMNkABZ_TrVUJLXhCGJQGn5ozCkf9dQBisgGK4gLU$ ), so there will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you did with these suggestions. ### Outdated references Document references `draft-ietf-bier-idr-extensions-11`, but `-14` is the latest available revision. Zzh> It's just that this draft has not been updated for a while. Every time this php draft is updated, the latest revision of referenced drafts will be picked up. Zzh> thanks! Zzh> Jeffrey ## Notes This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF]. You can use the [`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT]. [ICMF]: https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!C5_JKez9O4U-svnuGSyk13JIfXOJWKh9nCEah0lMNkABZ_TrVUJLXhCGJQGn5ozCkf9dQBisrphN-ZY$ [ICT]: https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!C5_JKez9O4U-svnuGSyk13JIfXOJWKh9nCEah0lMNkABZ_TrVUJLXhCGJQGn5ozCkf9dQBiszg8m8nw$ [IRT]: https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!C5_JKez9O4U-svnuGSyk13JIfXOJWKh9nCEah0lMNkABZ_TrVUJLXhCGJQGn5ozCkf9dQBisgGK4gLU$ _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list -- gen-art@ietf.org To unsubscribe send an email to gen-art-le...@ietf.org
