Hi Russ,

And thanks for your review. Please see below.

On 13.12.21 23:02, Russ Housley via Datatracker wrote:
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review result: Almost Ready

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your
document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

For more information, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-opsawg-sbom-access-03
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2021-12-13
IETF LC End Date: unknown
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Almost Ready


Note: I am not a good persone to review the YANG specification.  I
assume one of the YANG Doctors will have a look at this document too.


Major Concerns:

Section 1 says:

    To satisfy these two key use cases, objects may be found in one of
    three ways:

This lead to some confusion for me.  Earlier in the document, it says:

    This specification does not allow for vulnerability information to be
    retrieved directly from the endpoint.  That's because vulnerability
    information changes occur at different rates to software updates.

After thinking about it, I realized that the objects do not include
vulnerability information, but pointers to obtain vulnerability
information.  Please reword to others do not need to give it the
same amount of thought.

What I propose is first the following early on in the introduction:

This memo doesn't specify the format of  this information, but rather
only how to locate and retrieve these    objects.





Minor Concerns:

Section 1, first sentence: The reference to "A number of activities"
is very vague.  It is not wrong.  Please be more specific, provide
some references, or drop the vague reference altogether.

It'd be fun to reference an executive order.  Never done that before.


Section 1 says:

    In the second case, when a device does not have an appropriate
    retrieval interface, but one is directly available from the
    manufacturer, a URI to that information must be discovered.

s/must/MUST/ ?

Sure.


Nits:

The terms "software" and "firmware" are used with essentially the same
meaning in this document.  If there is a difference, it needs to be
explained.  If they are the same in the context of this document, please
say so.

I've removed the term "firmware".

Abstract, last sentence: please add "(MUD)" and also a pointer to
RFC 8520.

I think this got rewritten.  Let me know when you see the update.

Thanks again for the review.

   Eliot


Attachment: OpenPGP_0x87B66B46D9D27A33.asc
Description: OpenPGP public key

Attachment: OpenPGP_signature
Description: OpenPGP digital signature

_______________________________________________
Gen-art mailing list
Gen-art@ietf.org
https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art

Reply via email to