On 12/14/17 2:12 AM, Duzongpeng wrote:
Hi, Paul

        Thank you for your reply.
        We have updated the draft again, the version 11-2.
        If any problem, please connect us.

This resolves my concerns.

        Thank you,
        Paul
        
Best Regards
Zongpeng Du

About the comments:

        Now I am more confused. This is new, rather than documenting existing 
deployed practice. It is not standards track, so this is not an intent to 
define something that can be deployed But it is being published as an archive.

Was this once intended to be standards track, but without sufficient interest or support 
to complete it as a standard. Is this then reflecting that "we did a lot of work on 
this and want to publish it in case there is future interest in doing something like 
this"?

If so, that is fine. If it is something else, then it would be helpful to have 
further explanation.

<zongpeng>Yes, this was once to be standards track. But market trend changed 
while the work was going on, and then it was not finished.
Your understanding about "we did a lot of work on this and want to publish it in case 
there is future interest in doing something like this" is right. </zongpeng>

I'm still confused about what message is used to convey this. Is it an existing 
message in another spec, in which the AR List Element may be inserted? If so, 
does that message already allow elements defined elsewhere, such as this one, 
to be included? How would it be deciphered?

<zongpeng>We made some corrections about it. It is a mistake to include it 
directly in the IEEE 802.11 WLAN Config. Response
Firstly, we change the Figure. Now, the IEEE 802.11 WLAN Configuration Response 
message contains an alternate tunnel encapsulation message element, in which 
the AR list element can be included.
Secondly, we rewrite the explanation under the graph. Now, it is said that "To 
enable this, the IEEE 802.11 WLAN Configuration Response may carry the alternate tunnel 
encapsulation message element containing the AR list element        corresponding to the 
selected AR as shown in Figure 5."
Thirdly, in Section 3.2.  Alternate Tunnel Encapsulations Type, we add some 
explanations:
" Besides, the message element can also be sent by the WTP to communicate the 
selected AR(s)."
Fourthly, in Section 5.1.  Access Router Information Elements, we add some 
explanations:
" If the Alternate Tunnel Encapsulations Type message element is sent      
           by the WTP to communicate the selected AR(s), this Access Router     
           Information Element SHOULD be contained."
</zongpeng>



Another problem:
  A message is mistaken used in the draft because of negligence, and we correct 
it.
In current version, it is said that WTP Alternate Tunnel Fail Indication 
(defined in this specification)
    MAY be carried in the CAPWAP Station Configuration Request message
    which is defined in [RFC5415].
However, it should be *WTP Event Request * message instead.
The CAPWAP Station Configuration Request message is sent by the AC to the WTP,
And the WTP Event Request message is used by a WTP to send information to its 
AC.

-----Original Message-----
From: Paul Kyzivat [mailto:pkyzi...@alum.mit.edu]
Sent: Thursday, December 14, 2017 6:55 AM
To: Duzongpeng; draft-ietf-opsawg-capwap-alt-tunnel....@ietf.org
Cc: General Area Review Team
Subject: Re: Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-opsawg-capwap-alt-tunnel-10

On 12/13/17 3:56 AM, Duzongpeng wrote:
Hi, Paul

        Please see inline.
        Thank you very much for your careful review.
        We have updated the draft accordingly.
        If any problem, please connect us.

Best Regards
Zongpeng Du

-----Original Message-----
From: Paul Kyzivat [mailto:pkyzi...@alum.mit.edu]
Sent: Tuesday, December 12, 2017 3:48 AM
To: draft-ietf-opsawg-capwap-alt-tunnel....@ietf.org
Cc: General Area Review Team
Subject: Gen-ART Last Call review of
draft-ietf-opsawg-capwap-alt-tunnel-10

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team 
(Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. 
Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more 
information, please see the FAQ at 
<​http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-opsawg-capwap-alt-tunnel-10
Reviewer: Paul Kyzivat
Review Date: 2017-12-11
IETF LC End Date: 2017-12-13
IESG Telechat date: TBD

Summary:

This draft is on the right track but has open issues, described in the review.

(Thanks for fixing most of the issues I raised in the previous round.)

Issues:

Major: 0
Minor: 7
Nits:  1

(1) MINOR:

In Section 1.3, if this document is intended to serve as a *historical* reference, then why isn't 
then intended status "Historic" rather than "Experimental"?
<zongpeng>There have been discussions about it among the authors, chairs, and the ADs. 
Finally, the "Experimental" type is decided.
According to https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc2026#section-4.2, the historical 
type means:
     A specification that has been superseded by a more recent
     specification or is for any other reason considered to be obsolete is
     assigned to the "Historic" level.
Our document is a new one, so it is not very proper for us to declare a 
historical type.

        Also in RFC2026, it is said that
     The "Experimental" designation typically denotes a specification that
     is part of some research or development effort.  Such a specification
     is published for the general information of the Internet technical
     community and as an archival record of the work, subject only to
     editorial considerations and to verification that there has been
     adequate coordination with the standards process (see below).

        So we consider that the "Experimental" type is more suitable here.

        And to avoid ambiguity, we have changed the "This experimental document is 
intended to serve as a historical reference for any future work as to the operational and 
deployment requirements." To
        "This experimental document is intended to serve as **an archival record** 
for any future work as to the operational and deployment requirements."
</zongpeng>

Now I am more confused. This is new, rather than documenting existing deployed 
practice. It is not standards track, so this is not an intent to define 
something that can be deployed But it is being published as an archive.

Was this once intended to be standards track, but without sufficient interest or support 
to complete it as a standard. Is this then reflecting that "we did a lot of work on 
this and want to publish it in case there is future interest in doing something like 
this"?

If so, that is fine. If it is something else, then it would be helpful to have 
further explanation.

   (2) MINOR:

Section 3 contains:

      Since AC can configure a WTP with more than one AR available for the
      WTP to establish the data tunnel(s) for user traffic, it may be
      useful for the WTP to communicate the selected AR.  To enable this,
      the IEEE 802.11 WLAN Configuration Response may contain the AR list
      element containing the selected AR.

But "IEEE 802.11 WLAN Configuration Response" is not defined in this version of 
the document. Seems like this may be a dangling reference from a prior version.
<zongpeng>Thanks for proposing the problem. We add some explanations for the 
problem.
Firstly, change the sentence to " the IEEE 802.11 WLAN Configuration Response 
may contain the AR list
      element containing the selected AR *as shown in Figure 5*."
Secondly, change the Config. To Configuration in the Figure 5, and add
the [ AR List Element ]  in the IEEE 802.11 WLAN Configuration
Response message.</zongpeng>

I'm still confused about what message is used to convey this. Is it an existing 
message in another spec, in which the AR List Element may be inserted? If so, 
does that message already allow elements defined elsewhere, such as this one, 
to be included? How would it be deciphered?

(3) MINOR:

In Section 3.1, Figure 6 shows Tunnel-Type1 occupying the first 16 bits of a 32 
bit value, and Tunnel-Type (2..N) all occupying the 2nd 16 bits of that value. 
That doesn't work for N>2. I *presume* that the intent is that this be an array 
of 16 bit values in network order starting with Tunnel-Type1, but that is not what 
it says. Needs some work.

<zongpeng>Thanks for proposing the problem. We add some explanations for the 
problem.
Firstly, add some explanations into the Tunnel-type Field.
Tunnel-Type: This is identified by value defined in Section 3.2.
*There may be one or more Tunnel-Types as shows in Figure 6.* Secondly, change 
the graph to:
        0                   1                   2                   3
   0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
|      Tunnel-Type 1            |      Tunnel-Type 2            |
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
|            ...                |      Tunnel-Type N            |
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
</zongpeng>

Looks good.

(4) MINOR:

In Section 3.3 I find the wording of the usage unclear in the following:

      The Alternate Tunnel Failure Indication message element is sent by
      the WTP to inform the AC about the status of the Alternate Tunnel.
      It MAY be included in the CAPWAP Station Configuration Request
      message.  ...

It is the way "MAY" is used here that causes me confusion, as if there
is some other way to achieve this goal. Perhaps the following would be
clearer:

      The WTP MAY include the Alternate Tunnel Failure Indication message
      in a CAPWAP Station Configuration Request message to inform the AC
      about the status of the Alternate Tunnel.

<zongpeng> Thanks for proposing the problem. We revise accordingly.
</zongpeng>

Thanks.

(5) MINOR:

In Section 4.2 I find the usage of the term "Access Router (LMA) Information Element" confusing. I 
find no definition of this as a distinct thing, so I gather the intent is that this is a particular usage of 
"Access Router Information Element". I think this would be clearer to remove "(LMA)" from 
Figure 10.

<zongpeng> Thanks for proposing the problem. We revise accordingly.
</zongpeng>

Looks good.

(6) MINOR:

Section 5.2 uses "ARs" and "ARs information" in ways that are unclear and improper grammar. IIUC "AR" in this document 
means "Access Router", and so "ARs" should mean "Access Routers". It is used that way once in section 3.3, and once in 
5.2. But several other usages in 5.2 are different, and seem to be intended to refer to "Access Router Information Elements". I suggest the 
following change:

OLD

      ... If there are more than one ARs
      information provided by the AC for reliability reasons, the same
      Tunnel DTLS Policy (see Figure 14) is generally applied for all
      tunnels associated with the ARs.  Otherwise, Tunnel DTLS Policy MUST
      be bonding together with each of the ARs, then WTP will enforce the
      independent tunnel DTLS policy for each tunnel with a specific AR.

NEW

      ... If, for reliability reasons, the AC has provided more than one
      AR address in the Access Router Information Element, the same
      Tunnel DTLS Policy (see Figure 14) is generally applied for all
      tunnels associated with those ARs.  Otherwise, Tunnel DTLS Policy
      MUST be bonded together with each of the Access Router Information
      Elements, and the WTP will enforce the independent tunnel DTLS policy
      for each tunnel with a specific AR.

In addition the mechanics of this "bonding" aren't entirely clear. This seems 
to be covered by:

      A: If A bit is set, there is an AR information associated with the
      DTLS policy.  There may be an array of pairs binding DTLS policy
      information and AR information contained in the Tunnel DTLS Policy
      Element.  Otherwise, the same Tunnel DTLS Policy (see Figure 14) is
      generally applied for all tunnels associated with the ARs configured
      by the AC.

The above says "There may be an array of pairs". How is the array encoded and 
how is its length specified? I'm guessing you intend:

When A=0:

         0                   1                   2                   3
         0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1
        +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
        |Tunnel DTLS Policy Element Type|        Length                 |
        +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
        |                        Reserved                       |A|D|C|R|
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

When A=1:

         0                   1                   2                   3
         0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1
        +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
        |Tunnel DTLS Policy Element Type|        Length                 |
        +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
        |                        Reserved                       |A|D|C|R|
        +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
        .                       AR Information                          .
        +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
        |                        Reserved                       |A|D|C|R|
        +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
        .                       AR Information                          .
        +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
        |                        Reserved                       |A|D|C|R|
        +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
        .                       AR Information                          .
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+


where the number of repeats is equal to the number of AR addresses previously 
specified.

This needs to be made much clearer. ISTM it would be cleaner to forget
the flag, and simply say this is always a list, where the last element
has no AR Information and provides options for any address not
previously mentioned. (But this isn't an option if it is documenting
existing usage.)

In Figure 9, I gather that "AR Information" means "Access Router Information 
Element", and in this context it must be restricted to a single address, and must be the 
address of one of previously specified AR addresses. If so, please say this explicitly.

<zongpeng> Thanks for proposing the problem. We revise accordingly.
The change is a little complicated, and is described following the comments.
Several people had edited the draft, so that there was some conflicts in the 
description.
But the main opinion among the authors is the same. Thanks again for
the suggestion.</zongpeng>

The fix looks good to me.

(7) MINOR:

Section 5.3 has a similar construction to that in 5.2, with the same issues and 
should get a comparable fix.

(8) NIT:

IdNits reports that the reference to RFC2460 in section 5.6 is obsolete.
<zongpeng> Thanks for proposing the problem. We revise accordingly.
</zongpeng>

Looks right.

About the (6) and (7), we choose to forget the flag as you have suggested. 
However, it is found that it is not enough to just modify section 5.2 and 5.3, 
so that section 5.4, 5.5, 5.6 are also modified to support information 
providing of more than one ARs.
Among them, section 5.5 is a little different, because every GRE key should be 
independent, and needs not to be the same.
Also for section 5.6, IPv6 MTU are not needed in the context of IPv4 
environment, so there is no default value, neither.

For the detailed modifications, please refer to the new version of draft 
attached.
Perhaps we will update the draft recently if it is ok for you.

        Thanks,
        Paul


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