Hi,
The following actions have been taken wrt the Gen-ART reviewer
comment items in the newly published draft-ietf-netlmm-pmipv6-mib-07
Glenn
-------------
Francis Dupont
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Nits/editorial comments:
- Toc page 2 and 9 page 67: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments
==> It is now uniformly "Acknowledgements".
- 5 page 7: incoherent zip/country order for Japan
==> Done
- 5 page 9: pmip6Stats:pmip6BindingRegcounters ->
^
pmip6Stats:pmip6BindingRegcounters
(fortunately it is in a comment, but an ASN.1 comment :-)
==> Done
- 5 page 16: reindent pmip6MagProxyCOATable description
(same pages 39 and 40 for pmip6LmaMinDelayBeforeBCEDelete)
==> Done
- 5 page 22 (pmip6MagBLlMnIdentifier): bad wording (the two is for
the length, not the value).
same page 28 for pmip6BindingMnLlIdentifier
==> Not applicable.
- 5 page 24: reformat pmip6MagBLAccessTechnologyType description
==> Done. [Now this is a separate document]
- 5 page 24 (pmip6MagBLTimeRecentlyAccepted):
acknowledgement -> acknowledgment
(same page 29 for pmip6BindingMagLinkLocalAddress,
page 30 for pmip6MissingMnIdentifierOption,
page 31 for pmip6NotLMAForThisMobileNode, etc)
==> Now it is uniformly 'acknowledgement'. This conforms with the
original RFC 5213
- 5 page 31 (pmip6MissingMnIdentifierOption): router. -> router,
==>Done
- 5 page 37 (pmip6CounterDiscontinuityTime): viz. ???
- 5 page 41 (pmip6LmaTimestampValidityWindow): bad wording:
length of time ???
- 5 page 50 (pmip6CoreReadOnlyCompliance): missing final '.' in
description
==>Done
- 6 page 63: extra space in 'pmip6MobileNodeGeneratedTimestampInUse :'
==>Done
- 6 page 63: IPSec -> IPsec
==>Done
- 10 page 67: presentation should be uniformized.
==>Done
(2011/06/19 8:07), Francis Dupont wrote:
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-netlmm-pmipv6-mib-05.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20110527
IETF LC End Date: 20110512
IESG Telechat date: unknown
Summary: Ready
Major issues: None
Minor issues: None
Nits/editorial comments:
- Toc page 2 and 9 page 67: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments
- 5 page 7: incoherent zip/country order for Japan
- 5 page 9: pmip6Stats:pmip6BindingRegcounters ->
^
pmip6Stats:pmip6BindingRegcounters
(fortunately it is in a comment, but an ASN.1 comment :-)
- 5 page 16: reindent pmip6MagProxyCOATable description
(same pages 39 and 40 for pmip6LmaMinDelayBeforeBCEDelete)
- 5 page 22 (pmip6MagBLlMnIdentifier): bad wording (the two is for
the length, not the value).
same page 28 for pmip6BindingMnLlIdentifier
- 5 page 24: reformat pmip6MagBLAccessTechnologyType description
- 5 page 24 (pmip6MagBLTimeRecentlyAccepted):
acknowledgement -> acknowledgment
(same page 29 for pmip6BindingMagLinkLocalAddress,
page 30 for pmip6MissingMnIdentifierOption,
page 31 for pmip6NotLMAForThisMobileNode, etc)
- 5 page 31 (pmip6MissingMnIdentifierOption): router. -> router,
- 5 page 37 (pmip6CounterDiscontinuityTime): viz. ???
- 5 page 41 (pmip6LmaTimestampValidityWindow): bad wording:
length of time ???
- 5 page 50 (pmip6CoreReadOnlyCompliance): missing final '.' in
description
- 6 page 63: extra space in 'pmip6MobileNodeGeneratedTimestampInUse :'
- 6 page 63: IPSec -> IPsec
- 10 page 67: presentation should be uniformized.
Regards
[email protected]
PS: I don't remember if I sent this review, so anyway I resend it.
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