I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
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Document: draft-ietf-avt-avpf-ccm-09.txt
Reviewer: Vijay K. Gurbani
Review Date: 18 Oct 2007
IESG Telechat date: 22 Oct 2007
Summary: This draft is ready for publication as a Proposed
Standard.
Some nits follow:
* In S1, it is mentioned that "This makes the use of more
traditional control protocol means, such as Session Initiation
Protocol (SIP) re-INVITEs [RFC3261], undesirable when used for
the same purpose."
I am curious: I don't believe that SIP re-INVs are used to affect
the sort of codec control messages being discussed in this draft.
I believe that you are pointing out that folks should not use
other means -- like SIP re-INVs -- for this purpose in the
*future.* If so, I would suggest the following change:
s/undesirable when used/undesirable if used/
* S3.2: s/There are multiple reasons/There are two reasons/
* S3.5.4: There appears to be some presentation error (or maybe it
is an error in the underlying XML) on line three and four of that
section.
* S3.5.4.2: You may want to consider breaking into two lines the
equations labeled (1) and (2) at the top of page 25. The reason
is that as the labels appear now, they are hidden. Thus, when you
refer to equations (1) and (2) later, it is hard to visually see
where these equations are. I had to go back and use the browser's
find command to help me locate them.
So, if re-arranged, these equations will look like:
OLD:
Max_net media_BR_A = TMMBR_max total BR_A - PR * TMMBR_OH_A * 8 ...
(1)
Max_net media_BR_B = TMMBR_max total BR_B - PR * TMMBR_OH_B * 8 ...
(2)
NEW:
Max_net media_BR_A =
TMMBR_max total BR_A - PR * TMMBR_OH_A * 8 ... (1)
Max_net media_BR_B =
TMMBR_max total BR_B - PR * TMMBR_OH_B * 8 ... (2)
* S4.2.1.2, top of page 39: There appears to be some
presentation error (or maybe it is an error in the underlying
XML) on the first two lines of the page, and this is repeated
in the second paragraph of the page.
* S4.2.2.2: s/.Note: if any media/Note: if any media
* S4.3.3.5: Is a sub-section warranted at all if there aren't
any remarks?
That's it.
Thanks,
- vijay
--
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
2701 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9F-546, Lisle, Illinois 60532 (USA)
Email: [EMAIL PROTECTED],bell-labs.com,acm.org}
WWW: http://www.alcatel-lucent.com/bell-labs
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