On Fri, Oct 12, 2001 at 12:03:07PM +0200, Jean-Francois Dockes wrote:
> 
> I recently configured a diskless FreeBSD machine, and I found the
> handbook section to be outdated to the point of irrelevance.
> 
> I wrote an updated version, which I hereby submit for review, as suggested
> by the documentation project 'Submitting documentation' section.

Great work!  Your document seems very useful, although I've never used
diskless booting.

The attached patch contains fixes for some of the English, a minor
stylistic change (linking directly to a man page) and a few examples
of removing unecessary space within tags.

The last point is something you've done throughout the document, which
causes it to render peculiarly.  For example, you've got space after a
word before a full-stop in several places.  The end of the patch
contains a few examples of this.

Hopefully your work can be incorporated into the Handbook soon.

Thanks,
Tom
--- diskless-chapter.sgml.orig  Fri Oct 12 12:33:02 2001
+++ diskless-chapter.sgml       Fri Oct 12 12:18:26 2001
@@ -1109,8 +1109,8 @@
 
     <para>A FreeBSD machine can boot over the network and operate without a
       local disk, using file systems mounted from an NFS server. No system
-      modification is necessary, beyond standard configuration files.
-      Such a system is easy to  set up because all the necessary elements
+      modification is necessary, beyond standard configuration files, and 
+      such a system is easy to  set up because all the necessary elements
       are readily available: </para>
     <itemizedlist>
       <listitem>
@@ -1156,15 +1156,15 @@
     <para>There are many ways to set up diskless workstations. Many
       elements are involved, and most can be customized to suit local
       taste. The following will describe the setup of a complete system,
-      emphasising simplicity and compatibility with the
+      with an emphasis on simplicity and compatibility with the
       standard FreeBSD startup scripts. The system described has the
       following characteristics: </para>
 
     <itemizedlist>
       <listitem>
        <para>The diskless workstations use a shared
-         read-only <filename>root</filename> filesystem, and a shared
-         read-only <filename>/usr</filename>. </para>
+         readonly <filename>root</filename> filesystem, and a shared
+         readonly <filename>/usr</filename>. </para>
        <para>The <filename>root</filename> file system is a copy of a
          standard FreeBSD root (typically the server's), with some
          configuration files overriden by ones specific to diskless
@@ -1179,9 +1179,9 @@
       </listitem>
     </itemizedlist>
 
-    <caution><para>As described, this system is insecure.  It should
-       live in a protected area of a network, and be untrusted by
-       other hosts.</para>
+    <caution><para>The security of the whole system (server+workstations)
+       is probably very bad. It should live in a protected area
+       of a network, and be untrusted by other hosts.</para>
     </caution>
 
 
@@ -1191,8 +1191,8 @@
       <sect3>
        <title>Configuring DHCP/BOOTP</title>
 
-       <para>There are two protocols that are commonly used to boot a
-         workstation that retrieves its configuration over the network: BOOTP
+       <para>There are two main standard protocols used by a booting
+         workstation to retrieve its configuration over the network: BOOTP
          and DHCP. They are used at several points in the workstation
          bootstrap: </para>
        <itemizedlist>
@@ -1206,7 +1206,7 @@
        </itemizedlist>
 
        <para>It is possible to configure a system to use only BOOTP.
-         The &man.bootpd.8; server program is included in the
+         The <command>bootpd</command> server program is included in the
          base FreeBSD system.</para>
 
        <para>However, DHCP has a number of advantages over BOOTP (nicer
@@ -1222,8 +1222,8 @@
          <para>The <application>isc-dhcp</application> server can answer
            both BOOTP and DHCP requests.</para>
 
-         <para>As of release 4.4, <application>isc-dhcp</application> is not part of 
the base
-           system. You will first need to install the
+         <para><application>isc-dhcp</application> is not part of the base
+           system (as of release 4.4). You will first need to install the
            <filename>/usr/ports/net/isc-dhcp3</filename> port or the
            corresponding package. Please refer to <xref linkend="ports">
            for general information about ports and packages.</para>
@@ -1324,11 +1324,12 @@
        <title>Preparing a boot program with
          <application>Etherboot</application></title> 
 
-       <para><ulink url="http://etherboot.sourceforge.net";>Etherboot's Web
-         site</ulink> contains
+       <para>You can find extensive 
          <ulink url="http://etherboot.sourceforge.net/doc/html/userman.html";>
-         extensive documentation </ulink> mainly intended for Linux
-         systems, but nonetheless containing useful information. The following
+           <application> etherboot </application> documentation </ulink>
+         on its <ulink url="http://etherboot.sourceforge.net";> home site
+         </ulink>. This documentation is mainly intended for Linux
+         systems, but contains a lot of useful explanations. The following
          will just outline how you would use
          <application>etherboot</application> on a FreeBSD system.</para>
 
@@ -1488,9 +1489,9 @@
              conf/31200 </ulink> for the small adjustment needed in
            <filename> clone_root </filename>.
            Also see PR 
-           <ulink 
url="http://www.freebsd.org/cgi/query-pr.cgi?pr=29870";>conf/29870</ulink>
-           about a small adjustment needed in
-           <filename>/etc/rc.diskless2</filename>.
+           <ulink url="http://www.freebsd.org/cgi/query-pr.cgi?pr=29870";>
+           conf/29870 </ulink> about a small adjustment needed in
+           <filename> /etc/rc.diskless2 </filename>.
          </para> 
       </sect3>
 
@@ -1498,8 +1499,8 @@
        <title>Configuring swap</title>
 
        <para>If needed, it is possible to do swapping over NFS, to a file
-         on the server. The exact <filename>bootptab /filename> or
-         <filename>dhcpd.conf</filename> options are a little mysterious
+         on the server. The exact <filename> bootptab </filename> or
+         <filename> dhcpd.conf </filename> options are a little mysterious
          and poorly documented. Anyway, here is what worked for me, using
          isc-dhcp 3.0rc11.</para>
        <procedure>
@@ -1558,7 +1559,7 @@
 
        
        <sect4>
-         <title>Running with a read-only <filename>/usr</filename></title
+         <title>Running with a readonly <filename>/usr</filename></title
            <para>If the diskless workstation is configured to run X, you
            will have to adjust the xdm configuration file, which puts 
            the error log on <filename>/usr</filename> by default.</para>

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