Yust a wild guess: You could have blocked reception of ARP requests / ARP replies in your IPFW rules on one of the systems involved. Just try again with a completely open configuration (a pass all as rule 1 should work). That would explain that other systems can learn the ARP address as soon as they have received IP packets, but they can't get at the ARP address by querying for it ...
Regards, STefan To Unsubscribe: send mail to majord...@freebsd.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-current" in the body of the message