Hi Azure,
Not that my advice is particularly salient, but as someone who has had
a lot of personal challenges and tragedies to contend with, I can
understand the frustration of wanting people to know why our path has
been a bit different, but at the same time, not wanting to bring up
all that stuff and then suffer the embarrassment when people treat you
differently.
Everyone has to walk his own path and if you decide not to share the
reasons behind your choices that is certainly your prerogative. But
consider: what you have gone through is not an excuse for failure, but
an incredible success story of you overcoming challenges and achieving
more than many in your shoes would think possible. This kind of
"beating the odds" personal story is often looked upon favourably by
admissions committees. To not share this part of yourself is to hide
some of your biggest accomplishments. Would you keep winning a
scholarship a secret?
My hunch is that even with departmental and university admission, it
will still be a challenge to find an advisor who understands that your
approach will be a bit different. But there are many great people in
academia -- you just have to find one who is up to the task. I know an
archaeology professor in Canada, for instance, who takes on "unique
cases." He has mature students, with full-time jobs and families, who
have been working on their PhDs for nearly a decade! Not ideal when
there is pressure to have a revolving-door system, but they are
dedicated to making a contribution to their field and he understands
this.
I hope you don't ever stop trying. I trust that if you want anything
badly enough, you'll find a way -- you just have to convince others of
how determined you are to succeed and that you have the tools to do
so. This may take some demonstration on your part (e.g. you could make
an agreement with a department that you will take one or more of their
core classes and get a passing grade as proof of your commitment and
capabilities, or write an essay on a relevant topic to demonstrate
your in-depth understanding). Putative advisors may be concerned
that, for your area of interest, a background knowledge of chemistry,
physics, biology, etc. is necessary. If you have this foundation, I
hope you can find a way to show it, and if you don't, then you know
what you need to do to move forward. Finally, please don't forget that
grad school is by no means the only path to higher learning. Some of
the most brilliant and provocative thinkers owe much of their success
to self-teaching rather than the educational system (e.g. Einstein)!
Whatever you decide, I'm rooting for you!
Cheers,
Chris
Quoting Azure Zebu <[email protected]>:
Hi, I am aspiring towards grad school and encountering some unexpected
challenges with pre-reqs and cognitive quirks. Any advice would be much
appreciated. I am striving to be a part of a grad program that emphasizes
systems, complex modeling, making sense of patterns between species and the
landscape, and generally has an interdisciplinary style of looking at the
world. Finding this ideal program/person has been a sizable task, however I
recently realized that have additional odds against me.
Long story short I have unusual medical history. My senior year in high
school I had a brain tumor that left me with somewhat impaired short term
memory and a dash of aphasia. More recently I was also diagnosed as having
Aspergers syndrome (a form of high functioning Autism) that explains some
of the other characteristics of the mind not related to the tumor. Despite
my odd cognitive quirks, I graduated with honors, and with research
experience all over the world. My undergraduate experience was wonderful
mainly because it was so non-traditional with an interdisciplinary emphasis.
I was given the freedom to study anything I wanted, from multiple different
departments and universities, and the ability to navigate around virtually
all pre-reqs that I encountered. The majority of my classes where taken at
the upper level. Understanding the subjects took twice as long as most
students, but once the subject clicked and was stored in long term memory,
then I was able to explore the intricacies and application of concepts much
more deeply than my peers. If you were to graph it (based on comprehension
to time) most folks would probably have a fairly linear relationship,
whereas I would have an exponential curve of nothing for a long time
followed by intense clarity.
Despite doing well as an undergrad, I am encountering difficulty
transitioning to grad school. I have talked with many potential schools and
PhD advisers and the reaction is usually along the lines of you are a great
applicant, but the department would never allow it
My problem? Well I
never took any of the regular pre-req classes that are standard for a B.S.
No general biology, chemistry, math, physics, etc
Just the upper level
classes that required in-depth analysis or writing related to a single
highly specific topic. Frankly the lower undergrad classes terrified me
because of the emphasis on short-term memorization, across so many different
topics, with standardized testing, generally based on hours of verbal
lecture in a room with so many people.
During these interviews with potential grad schools I have never disclosed
how I think differently or use that as an excuse, if they dont want me as a
student based on what I have achieved then I generally thank them and move
on. However I am left wondering if I should tell them why I never took
these classes, or if I should just bite the bullet and spend the next two
years going back to community college and taking all the pre-reqs required.
I also worry that even if I do take the pre-req classes, I will judged
harshly for doing everything in reverse. Any advice?
Thanks for your thoughts.
--
Chris Creese (née Czerniak), PhD Student
Ecology and Evolutionary Biology
University of California Los Angeles
621 Charles E. Young Drive South
Box 951606 Los Angeles, CA 90095-1606
http://czerniak.bol.ucla.edu
