On 31.05.2013 19:32, Donald Whytock wrote:
On Fri, May 31, 2013 at 11:00 AM, Rory O'Farrell <ofarr...@iol.ie> wrote:
On Fri, 31 May 2013 16:52:33 +0200
Andre Fischer <awf....@gmail.com> wrote:
<snip>
I applied the rest of the changes (some of my errors are so
embarrassing). Thank you very much.
-Andre
If I could write any other language than my own as well as you do, I'd be
very proud!
"something is either new" -> "something either is new"
"both in Apache OpenOffice (and OpenOffice.org before that) as well as in
Symphony." -> "both in Apache OpenOffice (and OpenOffice.org before that)
and in Symphony."
or
"in Apache OpenOffice (and OpenOffice.org before that) as well as in
Symphony."
Paragraph starting with "The property panels that let you for example":
there's a mix of tone here, with the use of "could". Is it about things
that were done, or things that have yet to be done? The overall tone of
the section suggests it's about things that were done, so "could" items
don't really fit.
"The third group are non-modal dialogs" -> (recommending, to get around
is/are) "The third group consists of non-modal dialogs"
"extensions can add new decks" -> (suggesting) "extensions can now add new
decks"
" there may no yet be a panel" -> " there may not yet be a panel"
Seconding Rory on the "what the user, you, is currently doing". Much of
the rest of the article talks in terms of "you", and "you" so close to "is"
looks a bit awkward. I'd go with "what you are currently doing".
OK. I changed that.
"where busy getting the project going" -> "were busy getting the project
going"
"Even downstream has started" -- Is "downstream" in this sense as a noun
common usage in the AOO user community? It may need expansion, such as
"adaptations", "derivative works", etc.
I would like to keep this sentence in but at the same time don't want to
stress the point by explaining what "downstream" is. I hope that a
reader who does not understand the term just ignores the sentence.
"how anyoing" -> "how annoying"
"panels for the sidebar. The old sidebar." -- Since it wasn't called the
"sidebar" before, this might distract the reader with the question, "WHAT
old sidebar?" How about "panels for the task pane (the "old sidebar")."
Changed that to
A little known feature of OpenOffice is that extensions can provide
panels for the task panel (now called sidebar).
I am not sure if parenthesis and dot/period should be interchanged but
".)" just looks too wrong for me. Shall I change it?
One last thing...Did you mean for the headers to all be the same size?
Most should. Only the first two
So, what did you improve?
and
And what is new?
are one level below the others.
But all look much larger than the title. Have to check this.
Don
Thank you very much for your corrections and comments.
-Andre
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