Short version:
Please help me install the Nvidia drivers for a GTX 970 on a Bookworm
system.  Is there a Q&D guide that doesn't assume I'm an idiot, or is it
easy enough to explain?

Long version:
Yes, I'm the same guy who was considering the Nouveau driver a while back.
I decided to try the stock driver because there was so much trouble
installing Nouveau, plus I got the idea that it'd be significantly less
performant than the proprietary one.

Well, the Nvidia driver's not being cooperative either.  Or maybe it's just
me.  X won't run with the card but no driver so it boils down to

* shut down
* get out of the chair
* unplug a monitor from the motherboard
* plug in the GTX
* connect the monitor to the GTX
* boot
* get back in chair
* do some stuff until it doesn't cooperate
* shut down
* get out of chair
* unplug, remove, connect, boot
* get back in the chair

Then (maybe) find out what I did wrong.

I can only do this procedure a few times a day until I'm worn out, so
needless to say progress is very slow.

So, here's what I've installed:
nvidia-alternative (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-driver (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-driver-bin (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-driver-libs (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-egl-common (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-egl-icd (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-installer-cleanup (20220217+3~deb12u1)
nvidia-kernel-common (20220217+3~deb12u1)
nvidia-kernel-dkms (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-kernel-support (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-legacy-check (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-modprobe (535.161.07-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-persistenced (535.171.04-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-settings (535.171.04-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-smi (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-support (20220217+3~deb12u1)
nvidia-suspend-common (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-vdpau-driver (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-vulkan-common (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
nvidia-vulkan-icd (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)

libnvidia-allocator1 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libnvidia-cfg1 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libnvidia-egl-gbm1 (1.1.0-2)
libnvidia-egl-wayland1 (1:1.1.10-1)
libnvidia-eglcore (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libnvidia-encode1 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libnvidia-glcore (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libnvidia-glvkspirv (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libnvidia-ml1 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libnvidia-pkcs11-openssl3 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libnvidia-ptxjitcompiler1 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libnvidia-rtcore (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)

linux-compiler-gcc-12-x86 (6.1.99-1)
linux-headers-6.1.0-23-amd64 (6.1.99-1)
linux-headers-6.1.0-23-common (6.1.99-1)
linux-headers-amd64 (6.1.99-1)
linux-kbuild-6.1 (6.1.99-1)

glx-alternative-mesa (1.2.2)
glx-alternative-nvidia (1.2.2)
glx-diversions (1.2.2)

dkms (3.0.10-8+deb12u1)
firmware-nvidia-gsp (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
xserver-xorg-video-nvidia (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libcuda1 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libegl-nvidia0 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libgl1-nvidia-glvnd-glx (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libgles-nvidia1 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libgles-nvidia2 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libgles1 (1.6.0-1)
libglx-nvidia0 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)
libnvcuvid1 (535.183.01-1~deb12u1)

Early in the boot, if the GLX is out, there's a message "No Nvidia card
detected.".  Not sure what's making it or what that line says if the GLX is
in.  By "early" I mean "within a few lines after the fsck".  (Maybe
nvidia-persistenced.service?)

When the computer goes to boot into X, the backlight flashes 10ish times,
maybe once per second, and then I can ctrl-alt-F1 and log in.

The card is one of these:
01:00.0 VGA compatible controller [0300]: NVIDIA Corporation GM204 [GeForce
GTX 970] [10de:13c2] (rev a1)

Please let me know what further info would be helpful.

--
An ASCII character walks into a bar and orders a double. "Having a bad
day?" asks the barman. "Yeah, I have a parity error," replies the ASCII
chrcter. The barman says, "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off." - Skud

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