I do not understand something that has been bugging me for a while and I'd
like to ask the many minds of the list why this would not be possible,
especially since Debian has some of the best Linux people out there, who
have worked on the system for 20+ years.

Why is it not possible to create a completely generic shell script -
basically ala SysV  that can parse systemd config files for those use cases
where Systemd is undesirable?

What systemd does is basically a generic process of reading parameters from
a file and using them to start a service.  Granted, this approach would
have the benefits that systemd has, but the concerns about systemd being
too opaque or monolithic could be almost mitigated.

The remaining concerns such as login and so on can be addressed separately.

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