On 19/03/14 00:46, PAPYRUS TECHNOLOGIES wrote: > On Tue 18 Mar 2014 at 21:50:18 +1100, Myceneaen Magic wrote: > >> On 18/03/14 20:54, PAPYRUS TECHNOLOGIES wrote: >>> On Tue 18 Mar 2014 at 11:34:29 +1100, Myceneaen Magic wrote: >>> >>>> On 18/03/14 11:02, PAPYRUS TECHNOLOGIES wrote: >>>>> On Tue 18 Mar 2014 at 08:52:14 +1100, Myceneaen Magic wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> On 18/03/14 06:41, PAPYRUS TECHNOLOGIES wrote: >>>>>>> On Mon 17 Mar 2014 at 17:51:15 +0200, Lars Noodén wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> The longevity of flash is still a big unknown. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Well observered, Sir. The same might be said for CDs and >>>>>>> DVDs. Why anyone should entrust their data to such volatile >>>>>>> media is beyond our comprehension. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> We are an very old, established company who operate in the >>>>>>> Dead Sea area of the Middle East. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Our product has a proven record and is used by many >>>>>>> discerning clients who require the data they have entrusted >>>>>>> to us to be accessible at any time. We offer a 3000 year >>>>>>> guarantee that the material we use is suitable for long term >>>>>>> storagei. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> We have scribes who rarely mistake 1s for 0s or vice versa. >>>>>>> Employees who do are weeded out by our Quality Control >>>>>>> Section and transferred to our sister company, Pyramid >>>>>>> Enterprises PLC. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Security of your data is of paramount importance to us; there >>>>>>> is no compromise in this area of our operations. Even >>>>>>> shepherd boys and goats are actively dissuaded from entering >>>>>>> within a 10 km radius of our operations. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Our distinguised clients Nefertiti, Isaiah and Tutankhamun >>>>>>> have many, many good things to say about our services. >>>>>>> Unfortunately, they are offline at present so are unable to >>>>>>> answer your queries. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Forget the Cloud - choose the Cave. You know it makes sense. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Yet another desperate attempt by a failing company to >>>>>> capitalize on this list's readership by pushing unproven >>>>>> technology. A passing fad - what next? Asterix trying to sell >>>>>> bolders as portable? >>>>>> >>>>>> Get with it - tablets are the only way to go. Always have been >>>>>> been, always will be. >>>>>> >>>>>> Yours without wax, Proto Cuneiform >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> -- Clay - it's here to stay and it's goat-proof! >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> It's always the same; some attitudes never change. Introduce the >>>>> most exciting invention since that of the abacus (thank you Jobs >>>>> of Memphis) and some Stone Age Old Worlder chips in with a plea >>>>> to continue the depletion of one of the Earth's non-renewable >>>>> resources. >>>>> >>>>> Ever tried transporting the Epic of Gilgamesh from Babylon to >>>>> Thebes in tablet form? Let me tell you, it's horrendous. >> >> Papyrus is the favoured medium of smugglers and other ne'er-do-wells. >> We're an honest company catering to the needs of honest, upright and >> enterprising customers. >> >> All good, informed consumers know the TSA never found a tourist trying >> to smuggle a tablet onto a barge. >> >> >>>>> >>>>> Can't remember the number of donkeys and carts it took but the >>>>> feed bill was astonomical. As for customs at the borders, they >>>>> though we were importing buiding materials so the bribes mounted >>>>> up. And don't have an accident; sticking the broken pieces back >>>>> together is no fun, even after the pain in your toes has worn >>>>> off. >>>>> >>>>> Papyrus: just a few sheets which can be rolled up and put in >>>>> your pocket. Reading it while riding on the back of a camel is >>>>> also a pleasant way of passing the time on a long journey. >>>>> >>>>> Someone who sold blank tablets once said 640 is enough for >>>>> anyone. We envisage information as unlimited and we're expanding, >>>>> with branches opened recently in Athens and Rome. Tomorrow the >>>>> world! >>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>> It 'sounds' very attractive... until the donkey eats your backups. >>>> >>>> Tablets - just do it! (no ink required) >>>> >>>> For a limited time only we'll throw in not one, but two free reeds >>>> with every order from debian user subscribers. >>>> >>>> We built our reputation on tablets (and our office). They're a >>>> solid investment in time proven technology. You can't build >>>> anything substantial with papyrus. There's only one thing it's good >>>> for and that's not writing on - but it does come on a roll. >>>> >>>> >>>> -- Clay - it's here to stay and it's goat-proof! >>>> >>> >>> Are these tablets the same ones which were used to build this tower >>> at Babel? We all know what happened there.
Siri. A beta version. It had everyone talking, but the legend lives on. >>> You'll have to do better >>> if you want to play with the big boys. >> >> And we all know what happened to the Tower of Papyrus. >> >>> >>> Our R&D Department is also well ahead of you in devising a new >>> product. Innovation means new markets; our objective is 5 in every >>> home in the known world. Let's see you do *that* with clay (wet or >>> sun-baked). >>> >>> Wake up and smell the grass. >> >> Your product is ideal for the privy, but your other claims, like the >> product are flimsy. >> >>> >>> P.S. You appear to have a fixation on donkeys and goats. Medical >>> help is available to deal with the condition. >> >> That's rich coming from a company who fails to tell the customers the >> actual production technique - following reed eating goats around. > > Incredible! This is getting close to "you will be hearing from our > lawyers" time. That's just the sort of blaggards I'd expect a fly-by night purveyor of fickle products to associate with. > Spreading such rumours in a public forum does little to > attract people to your dying product. A tip: switch to mud baths for a > revenue stream; We're a horizontally integrated company. You're several centuries too late with that suggestion. And that "Fuller's earth" you coat your flimsy goat excreted "document" product to provide a shiny finish and stop that ugly bleeding[*1]... we make that too. Clay - we've got you covered. [*1] tablets - no bleeding problems. > you can also sling as much as you want while in one. Render or plaster? We have an app for that! > >> Papyrus, only found near rivers with goats. Clay - available almost >> anywhere (with the added benefits of kaolonite). We know intelligent >> customers prefer a solid, time tested and proven product and we've been >> listening. > > Production methods for papyrus are fully described in Patent No. 17, > which may be consulted at the Patent Office in Giza. Look for the big > building (still standing, incidentally) with a point at the top. Down an unlit flight of stairs behind a locked door marked "Beware of the Sphinx" no doubt. Patents indeed. Why would anyone want to copy it - remove from the bottom of their sandals perhaps, but copy it. Have you considered marketing the recyling aspect? Perhaps "papyrus - when your done you can hang it on the line, beat the *&^@! out of it, let it dry and use it again"? If only you could find a way to make it softer.... > > There is also extensive documentation published; on papyrus, of course. > It is distributed under a GNU (Goat 'n Ungulate) compatible license. It's not us who are so closely associated with goats... > >> Do your customers know that when Steve found your product failed to >> match the claims as the NeXt "big thing" he returned to a company built >> on solid products? He's now heading our portable tablet division in >> Thebes working on the latest additions to our Linear-B range. > > One of our customers did have a model from this range but he stumbled > and dropped it while coming down Mount Sinai. His verbal reaction is > irrepeatable but he now swears by our Rosetta portable we gave him for > free. If by "swears" you mean flaming, and beating about the bushes... Those 10 rules still stand, just like our tablets. What does that say for your "Rosetta"? > >> Our tablets have rounded corners (patents pending). > > You'd be well advised to read Patent No. 17. And don't even think of > reverse engineering our newly released papelback format. Furtherest things from out minds. We're a progressive company. > >> The first and only sexy inanimate objects! >> >> Now available in our unique walled garden. >> >> >> Yours without wax, Proto Cuneiform >> >> -- >> Clay - it's here to stay and it's goat-proof! > > Do you have the same animosity towards sheep? Please don't associate your ursine affection recreations with our business. Clay - it's bugfree, Papyrus not so much. I say let intelligent, handsome, insect adverse, and winning consumers make their own choice. Your without wax Proto Cuneiform -- Clay - it's here to stay and it's goat-proof! -- To UNSUBSCRIBE, email to debian-user-requ...@lists.debian.org with a subject of "unsubscribe". Trouble? Contact listmas...@lists.debian.org Archive: https://lists.debian.org/5328555a.4050...@gmail.com
