On Friday 17 February 2006 03:16, Katipo wrote: > Hal Vaughan wrote: > > <snip> > > >I would suggest the same to you. Are you here to help him or blame him? > > He's stuck, he's frustrated. He's letting us know. > > <snip> > > > He's having > >trouble. Do you want to help him or just piss him off? > > I am helping. > I'm showing him where he refuses to look, and until he does, the problem > remains. > Problems are dealt with in the realm of reality and only perpetuated by > philosophies of convenience.
Good excuse. It sounds good and you've done a good job at sounding like Dr. Phil. But it's just wrong. Your first post was just plain rude and nasty and there was no excuse for it. Such posts only serve to drive people away, not to help. It was similar to someone saying, I'm drowning and you, sitting on the side of the pool, with a lifeline nearby, just looking at the person and saying, "Okay, then learn to swim." or, "That's your fault for not learning to swim." Help would have been suggestions or questions to find out more about the problem. > >Because you are doing a good job at the latter when the purpose here is > > the former. > > He's throwing a childish tantrum, 'It doesn't work, and it's all > somebody else's fault'. I'm calling you on this, too. Yes, he's upset and it's clear he needs help. I've been there. Likely 50%-90% of us on this list have been there. Maybe you haven't. To be honest, as a 3rd party without any relationship with either of you, your response was closer to a tantrum than his. You're basically, in that one sentence, accusing and blaming him of everything you are doing but don't want to acknowledge and face. Even if it is his fault, the point is to help him figure it out, not to throw it in his face. That doesn't help. > If you want to play babysitter, fine. > I'll help him instead. Actually, as someone who spent close to a decade working with emotionally disturbed teenagers, from watching his post and your first post, and now this one, I'd say, as a former treatment professional who had to babysit many people throwing tantrums, that your behavior (and then blaming him instead of examining your own actions) needs more babysitting than his. You're just not willing to accept it. I'm responding onlist for what I feel is a good reason. I stated in my first comment the problem was that some posts just drive people away. The goal here is to help people. When someone posts a problem, that means working the problem, not accusing the person. We've all done dumb things with our computers or been stuck with something we feel is above our skill level to solve or hosed a system in one way or another. Throwing that in someone's face when they are obviously frustrated does not help. Doing so, then creating excuses by blaming the victim is only worse and abusive. It doesn't help him figure out what is wrong and what he needs to do. The OP is obviously in need of more than just comments like, "It's your fault." He needs to know what to do. If you can't help and offer constructive suggestions, then don't frustrate a user more. Hal -- To UNSUBSCRIBE, email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with a subject of "unsubscribe". Trouble? Contact [EMAIL PROTECTED]
