Hmmmm... I couldn't help reading your discussion. I recently installed RealPLayer7 but not using the Debian installer. I have no problem at all with esd. I have mp3, system sounds and realplay running at the same time. It's not nice with mixed sounds but it works quite allright.
My experience with the debian installers for realplayer and netscape has forced me into installing these programs by hand. This has _allways_ worked better. Btw. How stable is RealPlayer7 on your systems? On mine it tends to crash once in while and the video streaming is very slow. Usually i miss 90% of the frames... Sven Esbjerg