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There was a sheriff looking for a new deputy, and a Redneck went in to
apply for the job. "OK," said the sheriff, "What is 1+1?" The redneck
thought for a minute, and finally said, "11."The sheriff asked, "What two
days of the week start with the letter T?" The redneck said, "That's easy,
Today and Tomorrow." The sheriff said, "Now the last question, who killed
Abraham Lincoln?" The redneck thought really hard, and at last said, "I
don't know." The sheriff smiled and said, "Well, why don't you go home and
work on that." So the redneck went home and his wife asked him how it went.
The redneck replied, "Great! He already put me on a murder case!"
An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in
Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a
person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the
landowners for lots of money?" Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to
his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the
American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.
"No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on
sidewalks." 
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