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There was a sheriff looking for a new deputy, and a Redneck went in to
apply for the job. "OK," said the sheriff, "What is 1+1?" The redneck
thought for a minute, and finally said, "11."The sheriff asked, "What two
days of the week start with the letter T?" The redneck said, "That's easy,
Today and Tomorrow." The sheriff said, "Now the last question, who killed
Abraham Lincoln?" The redneck thought really hard, and at last said, "I
don't know." The sheriff smiled and said, "Well, why don't you go home and
work on that." So the redneck went home and his wife asked him how it went.
The redneck replied, "Great! He already put me on a murder case!"
By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken.
"You've got to have a room somewhere." he pleaded. "Or just a bed--I don't
care where.""Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the
manager," and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth,
he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the
past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.""No problem," the tired traveler
assured him. "I'll take it."The next morning, John came down to breakfast
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. When asked about how he slept, he replied,
"Never better."The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy
snoring, then?""Nope. I shut him up in no time.""How'd you manage that?""He
was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," John said. "I
went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful.' With
that he sat up all night watching me."
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