London Calling...

[joke-of-the-day]

Title: Joke-Of-The-Day from the Humor Network

sending over 1 BILLION jokes every year! CYPHER , This is Definitely The World's Largest Daily Joke Network March 25, 2003 Quote of the Day There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE! Linda Grayson Jokemaster's Note Okay Ms. America Fear Factor Monday night? I envy that host! Last night it was "Boob Factor" and last night it's upside down Apple Pie, squid and fish scales. I like the way the host kept saying...swallow girls, swallow it's protein. I think this show has overstepped boundaries. What is next? Girls Gone Wild meet Godzilla? Your feedback today concerned Tom Brokaw and his speech patterns...here is what you told me... I think it's false teeth I heard something of a degenerative disease of the throat, which will eventually cause him to have extreme difficulty swallowing! That's a Canadian accent not a lisp. He was born and raised in Canada. He broke his jaw in college and his football coach said he'd never be the same again...then there was the member who had a question... Since you brought up the subject of TV speech, why do PGA Tour announcers speak quietly when as golfers prepare their swing? Don't they realize they are sitting high in a tower control room watching a TV screen close-up? okay and back to the subject of TV reporting from our friends in the U.K. I don't know about the USA but here in the UK the coverage is getting to being really silly already. When there is no actual news about war reporting the radio hosts talk to anybody with the remotest links to Iraq just to fill in time. "And now over to John in a street in London, which we cannot name for security reasons" "John." "Yes, hello Sophie, I am here with a woman who lives next door to a man who knows someone whose daughter once knew a boy who had an Uncle that once received a postcard from Iran, which is NEXT DOOR to Iraq." "Mrs. Smith what do you think about this war?" "Is it a just war, and will it affect your life here in London?" " We do not like this war, wherever it is, and we like reporters shoving microphones up our noses even less." "Thank you Mrs. Smith." "This is John in Regent Street (Oh No!) back to Sophie in the studio." The TV people just get a lot of "experts" together and sit them around a table and ask insane questions like "Fred when do you think the war will finish? Will our lads be home for Cup Final day?" So much for intelligent comment. Well that sums up the notes for Tuesday, March 25, 2003! Thanks to our U.K. correspondent and all our members for sending in their comments. For Now this is your JokeMaster signing off from The Humor Network. Please tune in tomorrow for another day of laughter...Good Day America! RESPOND: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Today's Joke Little-Known Chocolate Tidbits... If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. Problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. Solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. Equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate is a balanced diet. The preservatives in chocolate make you look younger. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done! Pic of the Day This Too Could Happen To Your Easter Candy... Give the Gift of Laughter! Send this e-mail to a friend! Friend's Email JOKE NOTE PIC QUOTE Want More Laughs? Subscribe for FREE! Click below to receive more daily funnies from our various joke lists. Just fill out the easy form! CLICK HERE Going on Vacation? We'll hold your mail and drive you to the airport. CLICK HERE You received this e-mail because when you signed up you agreed to receive Joke-Of-The-Day from The Humor Network. If you don't want to get these letters anymore please click here or send a blank email. © 1997-2001 Optanetwork LLC / The Humor Network of original material and compilation of material. All Rights Reserved. JOKE OF THE DAY is a Registered Trademark of The Humor Network. All rights reserved. No Permission is granted for redistribution of The Humor Network Jokes, cartoons, photos or other material without the expressed written permission of The Humor Network. For info on licensing content, email [EMAIL PROTECTED]