[Routers] London - Protesters today took heed of the lessons of last year, where they were corralled into Leicester Square for over six hours, troublemakers and potential troublemakers both.
Some members of the public we interviewed at the time said, "The public would never have stood for that 5 years ago. The mass media is teaching us that 'anti-capitalist demonstration' really means 'riot' and is manufacturing consent to treat it as other than lawful protest. That's why I never watch mainstream news." But a more well-informed citizenry just said, "About bloody time." Today however the tables were turned. Fearful of confinement in one area, the protesters split up and moved apparently at random in order to defeat the authorities attempts to police their movements. Some protesters were even seen using mobile telephones in order to co-ordinate their movements and further confuse 'The Man'. "I can't see how these 'sell-phone' companies can be so irresponsible as to allow potential trouble makers to use their service," said a random member of the public. Annoyed at finding Harrods closed, she continued, "These newfangled technologies keep getting invented without a thought for how they will be used for wrong. After all, look at the Internet. I blame the Scientologists." When questioned further, the octogenarian biddy admitted she actually meant scientists. In response to growing concern over technology outstripping mass public comprehension, Tony Blair today announced a commission to look into regulating scientific research, The Quorum to Assess New Growth Opportunities. For its first decade QUANGO will be chaired by Microsoft. For their part, the Anti-Capitalist Whackos seem not to be too concerned by this latest turn. Said one, "Why do you think we always bring drums, whistles and boat-horns? And then there's always heliography..." PS Can the Victoria police please hold mattd a few more hours, I'm not quite finished cleaning out my spam/troll folder. Thank you.
