On 07/28/2020 03:35 PM, Cecilia Tanaka wrote: > On Mon, Jul 27, 2020, 22:23 Mirimir <[email protected]> wrote: > >> On 07/27/2020 04:24 PM, Cecilia Tanaka wrote: >>> >>> My dearest love, may you tell me the reasons why you don't you trust >>> surgeons, please? >> >> Because, for the most part, what they know is anatomy and surgery, and >> so they tend to see surgery as the best option. They're also more full >> of themselves than other doctors. >> >> The history of spinal surgery, in particular, is replete with all sorts >> of disastrous operations. See >> https://duckduckgo.com/?q=malpractice+spinal+surgery&t=ffnt&ia=web for >> examples. > > > Oh, the most disastrous operations in the history of spinal surgery... > W-O-W, loved it! All I wanted to see before my pretty complex spinal > surgery, sweetie! <3
Just be careful, my dear :) > Hahahahaha!!! ;D <3 > Mirimir, I do love you. You and my doctor always think I am a very > rational creature, able to analyze creepy situations with cold blood, > hahahaha!!! Nobody else in this world would believe it, hahahahaha!!! ;D Yeah, it's hard to be rational when you're broken :( >> In this specific moment, your answer will probably be very interesting for >>> me. >>> >>> Do you appreciate or, at least, trust doctors in general or not? Some >>> specifically medical area? >> >> I generally don't trust doctors. In the US anyway, they're generally >> driven too much by greed for money and status. And far too manipulated >> by the pharmaceutical and device industries. But there are many who are >> truly caring and competent, of course. > > > I do care a lot about a neurosurgeon - he used to be one of my best > friends before his marriage - and the innocent surgeon who thinks I am a > rational person. Sweet boy. > > My best friend for years and years was an addicted doctor, Mirimir. That's > the reason why I learned a bit about chemicals, my love. He committed > suicide and my world became stranger than ever for a considerable time. > > You know I do hate lies and labels, but I was "his sweet high school > girlfriend" in public. In real private life, he was gay and had more > boyfriends than me and all my friends together. But you know, he was a > successful doctor and needed a perfect image: - white, male, hetero... He > was buried using an Armani suit and red roses, our favorite flowers. I > still love him and miss this fucking bitch a lot. Suicides do fuck up their friends' lives, for sure. It's arguably a communicable disease. But of course, it's also a basic human right. >> I trust only a few surgeons. And I would give my life for only one of >> them >>> because he saved me a few months ago. Not in a surgery, he explained me >>> very important subjects about my body, trusting in my capacity of >>> processing informations rationally... wow... The human body and its >>> anatomy are fascinating, an astonishing beauty even when is damaged, hurt >>> like mine... >> >> OK, so _he_ sounds like a _good_ surgeon :) >> > > Hahahaha!!! _He_ is a fucking _amazing_ surgeon!!! I made some specific > researches about him. :D > > Don't feel jealous, my love. I think _he_ has the _same_ preferences than > me in several areas. Well, never asked about it. Sorry, he is the guy who > will put his hands in my spine, not necessarily in my back. ;) I'm not jealous. But it'd be a shame if you were incapacitated ;) > (There will be a scar, but he will try to preserve my tattoo.) Maybe he could shape the incision like a lightning bolt. Or a snake :) > He is a spinal surgeon, darling. And I didn't tell my parents I can die or > become paraplegic after the last surgery. I just want to be a butterfly > again and get my freedom back. > > I was an hyperactive child and was banned of schools because of it. I love > to walk for hours while thinking about a new idea or a problem. Can you > mesure the deep intensity of my fear of losing my movements? :(( I do get that. > I was shocked. At same time, he gave me an answer and new perspectives. I > wanted it more than everything at that point. Certainly, it was not a good > answer, but I had finally a rational justification for the strong pains > able to make me fainting, able to make my lovely always low blood pressure > becoming crazily high in some moments... > > My body was/is so fucking healthy that most of doctors simply said it was > stress, maybe psychological pain... Sorry, my body and I never were needy > enough for pretending to be sick for getting attention. And, well, I do > love my body. It survived to real sick shit and is keeping me alive very, > very well. Amazing healing capacity, wow... > > Something was wrong and now I know what is and it makes me pretty happy. I > can't fix it by myself, but life is funnier than ever because I know I > won't die: I will run on beaches again, watching the sea and the sun > rising, darling. That does sound wonderful. > (I just need to win a judicial battle first... 'Meh' things, you know. I > am wasting my precious time with bureaucracy, aff...) > > > And yes, we are very complicated machines. But fortunately, we're also >> amazingly good at self-repairing. Although it can take a _long_ time :( >> > > Sorry, learned to analyze spinal exams in the last months and, well, I love > my body's efficiency but it cannot to repair this kind of damage alone and > I am not able to operate my own back, even using mirrors or whatever... I > do hate to feel pain, you know. I sincerely prefer to ask for professional > help this time, Mirimir! :(( I've been tempted, I admit. > Be well <3 >> > > I will be well, sweetheart. Please, take care and be well too. I love > you. <3 <3
