Thank you for this ironic but serious message Nate!
To respect your humoristic formulation, here is my "hateful"
contribution!
And sorry for my simple English… hope it's understandable. ;)

I "hate" the lack of rigor with relational model and SQL norm. I think
"compound primary keys", sub-queries, multi-level JOIN should be
implemented. It will permit to avoid "artificial id" in HABTM for
example and thus tons of intermediate queries. More data types should
be available too (like ENUM and SET for MySQL).

I "hate" contributions constraints like: "Make a Unit Test" when I
report a bug or like: "Fork the project and use Git" when I just want
to update the .po file for CookBook.

I "hate" the instability of official documentation. Yes CookBook is
better than ever, but there are still a lot of sections without
explanations, some with obsolete explanations, others that are
frequently modified… it's difficult for both newcomers and translators
to navigate through it and find the good information. A PDF export –
global or partial - would be useful too

I "hate" translation tool and process for CookBook, it is complex,
heavy to manipulate, frequently modified and debugged. Ok, there were
new features recently developed (thanks to AD7six, Gwoo and others for
this work), but is not enough to attract and motivate new translators…
Two little suggestions for the moment: give validation rights to
locale community AND/OR let us write our own documentation, inspired
by, but not a perfect clone of the original.

I "hate" the multi-communicational channels of community : Bakery,
official website, Ohloh journal, multiple IRC's chans, multiple
GoogleGroups, Trac, TheChaw, CakeFest, unofficial forum, core
developpers and contributors blogs… it's like a puzzle! The
heterogeneity of designs between those different websites of the
Cake's galaxy make it even more disorganized.

In the same way, I "hate" Cake's logo (this cake is more like a cheese
�� ) and official website design (not clear enough, too funny and not
enough serious for deciders in comparison to Symfony and ZF designs).

I hate methods with more than 4 parameters or with mixed parameters (a
string or an array or null).
I hate Cake's shortcuts that just embbed PHP native functions like "e
()", "up()", "low()"… (for the majority of PHP's IDE, autocomplete
works well for that).

I "hate" the limited internationalisation of core methods like
Validate::alphanumeric() or Inflector::slug(). Accented and special
chars should be available and mb_ functions might be used, maybe by
including localized chars files (setting a var in config/core.php for
example). More internationalisation for Validate::phone() or
Validate::ssn() would be great too. We can help you to do that: please
delegate some responsibilities to the numerous dynamic international
communities!

Other opinions that I'm supporting too:
++ PHP 4 to full PHP5 syntax
++ ACL more flexibility (e.g. user attached to two groups)
++ Objects instead arrays, especially for find's returns
++ GUI for Bake, because we're not all CLI gurus… hmmm, ok, we should
be! ��
++ More complete Bake
++ Plugins management
++ Form::error messages
++ Jquery
++ automagic slug field

That's all... for the moment!

OK, I know that a framework can NOT make the coffee and that I can
create my own logic when needed.
But I would like to say that in my point of view, the more Cake will
be professional, industrial and rigorous, the more it will be adopted
by PHP users and deciders who currently look at Symfony or Zend
Framework side, even if Cake is more fun and easy to use.

I like Cake and its philosophy, I want to develop its usage and
recognition around the World, so let’s work together to make a better
Cake! ;)

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