Okay, here's what happened:

1.  I found a bug in Guix that I wanted to report.
2.  I checked the manual, which directed me to https://issues.guix.gnu.org/.
3.  That page directed me to "submit your patches or email
bug-guix@gnu.org to open a new issue."  There were no further
instructions, so I guessed that sending an email with the body "help"
would return one with instructions on how to file an actual bug
report.
4.  Instead, that filed a bug reporting "help."

Perhaps this bug could be repurposed into one about improving the
instructions for reporting bugs.  :)  Now I'll file the real bug
report...

On 3/8/20, GNU bug Tracking System <help-debb...@gnu.org> wrote:
> Thank you for filing a new bug report with debbugs.gnu.org.
>
> This is an automatically generated reply to let you know your message
> has been received.
>
> Your message is being forwarded to the package maintainers and other
> interested parties for their attention; they will reply in due course.
>
> Your message has been sent to the package maintainer(s):
>  bug-guix@gnu.org
>
> If you wish to submit further information on this problem, please
> send it to 39...@debbugs.gnu.org.
>
> Please do not send mail to help-debb...@gnu.org unless you wish
> to report a problem with the Bug-tracking system.
>
> --
> 39983: http://debbugs.gnu.org/cgi/bugreport.cgi?bug=39983
> GNU Bug Tracking System
> Contact help-debb...@gnu.org with problems
>



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