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==================================================================August 11, 2003
(Today's list was originally published on September 14, 2001)
The Top 20 Excerpts from a Romance Novel Written by a Science Fiction Writer
20> "Clarice wanted to resist, but when Zoltor opened his mouth and his thirty-two inch tongue unspooled, she gave in with a shudder."
19> "The pizza boy never realized that 412 Mansion Cove was the
four-dimensional portal of the Gnyxillian high queen, who
often sought meaningless servicing from carbon-based life
forms. This time was different, though. She didn't count
on... love."18> "As Loruk's thorax swelled, signaling her sexual availability,
she could feel Gakkor's twitching proboscis brush against
the most sensitive of her three legs, triggering her
kill-and-devour response in a way it had never been
triggered before."17> "Yeoman Rand gasped as her captain bent her over the
navigator's console and began tugging at her Starfleet-
issued panties. 'Prepare yourself for a captain's log
entry you won't forget,' Kirk purred, grinning wolfishly."16> "Their friends said they weren't compatible, that a model
49FB8v3 could never find happiness with an amorphous
semi-organic blob, but they didn't care. Sure, they were
from different worlds, but they had each other and that's
all that mattered."15> "Oh my God!" screamed Elizabeth. "I bet a photon could
traverse the length of your tumescent organ in less than
a picosecond! In a vacuum!"14> "His hands tore passionately at her bodice. 'It's a
breathable poly/carbon shell woven with interstitial
polyvinylchloride!' she moaned. He gazed longingly,
agonizing over the knowledge of basic chemistry which
stood between him and her three proud breasts."13> "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in
possession of a good fortune must be in want of a really
hot cyborg chick, and Ryan Cobalt was no different."12> "He was standing in the doorway, chlorine dissipating off his
rippling chest. From across the room, she could detect his
scent, the all too familiar musk of hydrogen sulfide and
ammonia. His eye met hers, and the silence was overwhelming."11> "'Don't go! I love you!' Helen pleaded, her bosom heaving.
'I must,' he replied coldly.
'I'll never forget you,' she sobbed, brokenhearted.
'Guess again,' the MiB agent remarked as he flashed his
Neuralizer."10> "Never had he seen twin moons more round, more perfectly
formed as these. They glistened in the twilight, each
with its own set of concentric rings, and he longed to be
the first man to land on them, to touch the surface." 9> "Though we both yearned to be as one, I knew that the reverse
polarization of our anti-grav units would forever keep us
apart." 8> "Diana Plasma was not the kind of woman to let interplanetary
gravity differentials dictate her agenda. When she said
'Jump', she expected her cadets to say 'How high?' -- and
really *mean* it." 7> "As the Nintendo LuvDroid pushed Cliff roughly to the bed,
he felt a touch of fear, and with reason. 'ATTENTION!'
shrieked the droid, 'ALL YOUR PENIS ARE BELONG TO US!'" 6> "My ears tingled and my skin flushed as he whispered those
three sweet words that every woman wants to hear:
X'CHa'ktt Ng'xxkt Kzgrr'Dchch." 5> "'You're a cold, heartless beast!' she screamed, weeping.
'Well, yes,' he responded, puzzled and hurt, 'On Pluto,
we ALL are.'" 4> "Her wanton breasts heaved. Her breath grew short. He pulled
her close and whispered, 'My Vulcan customs forbid me from
mating for another 7 years -- but we can still cuddle!'" 3> "As the mechanical whirring reached a crescendo, X-10B
suddenly rebooted. 'Just my luck,' P8000-C sighed,
covering her SCSI interface. X-10B cursed the latest
firmware upgrade as the hydraulic fluid drained from his
rapidly settling droidhood." 2> "Together they strolled along the sand, the light of the
moons reflecting from her platinum hair. Her ample breasts
pointed delicately upward in the weaker Martian gravity."
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Excerpt from a Romance Novel Written by a Science Fiction Writer...
1> "He held her close and whispered, 'Though light years may come between us, my love, I shall always cherish the night when I kissed you on Uranus.'"
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Rumination of the Day
With lightning-quick reflexes, I batted away the
cup and prevented the coffee from scalding my wife.
Sure, she claims she was just trying to take
a sip, but hey, better safe than sorry.(Bob Roth)
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================================================================== Selected from 120 submissions from 45 contributors. Today's Top 5 List authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1 (41st #1 / Hall of Famer) Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- 2, 16 John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 3, 14, 19 (Hat trick!) Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 4 Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 5 Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- 6 Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 7 Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 8 Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 9 Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 10 Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 11, 17 Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 12, Topic Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 13 Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 15 Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 18 Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 20 Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- Banner Tag Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- RU list name (Hall of Famer) Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name (Hall of Famer) Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Eric Johnson, Austin, TX -- Ambience Ambience explained: http://www.topfive.com/arcs_am/am091401.shtml
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