--- Reggie Bautista <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> Michael Harney wrote:
>
> >I have been informed today that I have been plonked by one of the
> >listmembers. Which listmember is irrelivant.
> [snip]
> >If enough people express a
> >desire for me to leave I will do so and never return. The last thing I
> >want
> >is to make people uncomfortable.
>
> I know you've already decided to stick around (yay!) but I want to throw in
>
> my US $0.02.
>
> It seems there are people on this list (and we probably all do it to some
> extent) who have certain hot-button issues where they don't react to the
> actual post, but instead react to the stereotype they have in their mind
> about certain kinds of posters. For example, when anyone posts anything
> about religion, The Fool and William Goodall react as if that person was
> posting from a religious extremest perspective, instead of reading what the
>
> poster actually wrote. Not all religious people are extremists and we
> certainly don't all believe the same things. In the past I've seen some
> people on this list who are politically far-left who seem to treat anyone
> to
> the right of them as a conservative extremist, and I've seen some who are
> far-right treat anyone to the left of them as a liberal extremist.
>
Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE does this. Even Dr. Brin does this sometimes.
Of course some people do it more than others.
It's a real hot button for me. I tend to appear aggressive when someone has
done this to me. First I try and explain the difference, but usually the
nuance is unimportant to them. Or they just don't get it. I mean, they would
have to be actually listening, and caring what I was saying to get it, and at
that point they usually aren't, and don't.
Then I get into a meta discussion and try to explain the very situation we
are now discussing. (recursive isn't it) Unfortunately that usually results
in them thinking that I am personally attacking them. They respond by
personally attacking, and then -I- get aggressive. The thing is -they-
usually would have thought I was being aggressive from the get-go. To them, I
made it into a "fight". To me they did.
I like to call this conversational monad a communicative fixed-point
impedance mismatch.
Really though, I wish this were a well known concept and their was a good
name for it. Then people could get out of that particular loop by simply
naming the instance and moving on. It might become part of on-(and off)-line
etiquette.
"Hay, your FPIMing me!"
"Oh I'm sorry, are you sure?"
"Yes I am saying (*.****) and you are FPIMing that I am saying something more
(*)."
"I fail to see the difference, -> -> -> -> what is it?" <- <- <- <-
....
ah! if only.
Jan
non-linear thinking maru
=====
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Jan William Coffey
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