On Thu, 26 Sep 2002, Miller, Jeffrey wrote:

> Yes, yes, I spoke in haste and heat.. but dammit, I'm sick of 2 things - being told 
>OH-HOW-GREAT-_________-IS, and being asked to provide a dissertation on why I dislike 
>something; step off - not everything is reducable to a statistic.

<tongue CHEEK="in">

It sounds to me like you need to expand your repetoire of snarky
comebacks.  For instance, when somebody asks you to explain why you don't
watch Buffy, here are two excellent options.

"I realize it's all a matter of taste, but why people would want to watch
a Dark Shadows/Blossom crossover show is beyond me."

or

"I can understand the allure of watching a show about adolescent girls who
get it on [notice the clever and apropos use of a phrase that can refer to
anything from combat to lovemaking] with the undead, really I can.  I just
think that grownups like me should be allowed to watch *real* porn
instead."

The possibilities really are endless.  And because one can't really hope
to change the opinions or habits of others over the 'Net, the best defense
is a powerful yet nuanced offense.  That's why for the first time ever
on-line I'm selling copies of my latest book of self-help wisdom:  _Dis
This, The "L33T" Guide to On-Line Badinage_.  Don't be the last on your
list to know the secrets of bantering, japery, quibbling, equivocating,
grandstanding, and of course, the classic put-down in all its traditional
forms, including but not limited to:  the slam, the sly undercut, the
righteous reversal, and of course, the back-handed ironic compliment v.
3.0.

Just $19.95 (US), so buy today!

Published by Puta Press of Austin, TX.  Copyright 2002.  All rights
reserved.

</tongue>

Marvin Long
Austin, Texas
Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, & Ashcroft, LLP (Formerly the USA)

"Two bits, four bits, six bits, a peso.  If you're for Zorro,
stand up and say so!"

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