Dear Alice, I have returned from my trip. Thank you so much for your support in driving this forward, and to Carlos for jumping in during my absence!
I have the following small comments outstanding: (1) Could you please record my affiliation as "Sympotech"? (Address, email etc staying the same, just s/Independent/Sympotech/). Thank you! (2) Current: Therefore, the networking industry has an important role to play in meeting sustainability goals and not just by enabling others to reduce their reliance on energy but by also reducing its own. I find the "and" that was added a bit awkward; why not make it a comma which more clearly separates the two aspekts (not just one, but als the other) to result in: Suggested: Therefore, the networking industry has an important role to play in meeting sustainability goals, not just by enabling others to reduce their reliance on energy but by also reducing its own. (3) Section 6.1. We got rid of "right-placing", replacing it with "correctly place". "Correct" is not the proper term here; you can place functions in ways that are correct but that are at the same time inefficient and suboptimal. I think "correct" needs to be replaced with "smart" here. i.e.: Current: Likewise, there are opportunities to correctly place functionality in the network for optimal effectiveness. Suggested: Likewise, there are opportunities to smartly place functionality in the network for optimal effectiveness. (4) After the text changes, I think the 2nd paragraph in the motivation now sounds a bit awkward and redundant (not wrong, but can be stylistically improved; also this is at the very beginning of the document where we should perhaps word things not quite as lengthily and should come to the point). I liked the original version better. This will not be worth holding the document up over, but I am wondering if we could still apply some wordsmithing, perhaps: (If that throws in too much a wrench, please let me know in which case I will withdraw my comment as it is not worth holding the document up over) Current: The science behind greenhouse gas emissions and their relationship with climate change is complex. However, there is overwhelming scientific consensus pointing toward a clear correlation between climate change and a rising amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. When we say 'greenhouse gases' or GHG, we are referring to gases in the Earth's atmosphere that trap heat and contribute to the greenhouse effect. They include carbon dioxide (CO2), methane (CH4), nitrous oxide (N2O), and fluorinated gases (as covered under the Kyoto Protocol and Paris Agreement). In terms of emissions from human activity, the dominant greenhouse gas is CO2; consequently, it often becomes shorthand for "all GHGs". However, other gases are also converted into "CO2-equivalents", or CO2e. One greenhouse gas of particular concern, but by no means the only one, is carbon dioxide (CO2). Carbon dioxide is emitted in the process of burning fuels to generate energy that is used, for example, to power electrical devices such as networking equipment. Notable here is the use of fossil fuels (such as oil, which releases CO2 that had long been removed from the earth's atmosphere), as opposed to the use of renewable or sustainable fuels that do not "add" to the amount of CO2 in the atmosphere. There are additional gases associated with electricity generation, in particular methane (CH4) and nitrous oxide (N2O). Although they exist in smaller quantities, they have an even higher Global Warming Potential (GWP). Suggested: The science behind greenhouse gas emissions and their relationship with climate change is complex. However, there is overwhelming scientific consensus pointing toward a clear correlation between climate change and a rising amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. When we say 'greenhouse gases' or GHG, we are referring to gases in the Earth's atmosphere that trap heat and contribute to the greenhouse effect. They include carbon dioxide (CO2), methane (CH4), nitrous oxide (N2O), and fluorinated gases (as covered under the Kyoto Protocol and Paris Agreement). In terms of emissions from human activity, the dominant greenhouse gas is carbon dioxide (CO2). CO2 is emitted in the process of burning fuels to generate energy that is used, for example, to power electrical devices such as networking equipment. Those fuels often include fossil fuels (such as oil), which releases CO2 that had long been removed from the earth's atmosphere), as opposed to the use of renewable or sustainable fuels that do not "add" to the amount of CO2 in the atmosphere. Other GHGs such as CH4 and N2O are associated with electricity generation as well. Although they are emitted in smaller quantities, they have an even higher Global Warming Potential (GWP). To facilitate accounting for them, they are collectively simply converted into CO2 equivalents (CO2e). Thanks --- Alex -----Original Message----- From: Alice Russo <aru...@staff.rfc-editor.org> Sent: Saturday, September 6, 2025 1:31 PM Cc: Alexander Clemm <a...@clemm.org>; Alexander Clemm <lud...@clemm.org>; westp...@ieee.org; Laurent Ciavaglia <laurent.ciavag...@nokia.com>; Jeff Tantsura <jefftant.i...@gmail.com>; Marie-Paule Odini <mp.od...@orange.fr>; IRSG <i...@irtf.org>; Jérôme François <jerome.franc...@uni.lu>; auth48archive <auth48archive@rfc-editor.org>; RFC Editor <rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9845 <draft-irtf-nmrg-green-ps-06> for your review Carlos, Thank you for your reply. The revised files are here (please refresh): https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.html https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.txt https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.pdf https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.xml This diff file shows all changes from the approved I-D: https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-diff.html https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-rfcdiff.html (side by side) This diff file shows the changes made during AUTH48 thus far: https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48diff.html https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48rfcdiff.html (side by side) This diff file shows only the changes since the last posted version: https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-lastrfcdiff.html In addition to the changes you requested: - removed extraneous 'to'. - lowercased 'fluorinated'. - replaced angled quotes with straight quotes per RFC style. Re: > After fixing these three nits, please note and write down my Approval > of the document at https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9845 Your approval has been recorded. We await word from your coauthors and the Document Shepherd before continuing the publication process. Alice Russo RFC Production Center > On Sep 5, 2025, at 10:05 PM, Carlos Pignataro <cpign...@gmail.com> wrote: > > Hi, Alice, > > I sincerely appreciate the outstanding quality of your work on this. > > Here’s my responses — taking the lead as Alex is on vacation. > > 1. Correct. > We want the Telefonica-2020 reference removed. > > 2. Let’s go with “A”. > It is closer to the original, and also it is more descriptive using > “effectiveness”. > > 3. Let’s leave it, please. > Thank you for asking and for your patience with this :-) I prefer not > to shorten affiliation names, and use "NC State University & Blue Fern > Consulting" > > I can see it is long, but a quick search shows similar examples: > https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc8452.txt > https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc9324.txt > > > And now, doing another final pass, I noticed a couple of typos/grammos: > > Section 1.2: > “…improving the efficiency with with networks utilize power…” > —> > “…improving the efficiency with which networks utilize power…” > > Section 6.1: > “…for exmaple, virtualized network functions…” > —> > “…for example, virtualized network functions…” > > Section 8: > “…the constallation and any networking within it are powered by solar energy…” > —> > “…the constellation and any networking within it are powered by solar energy…” > > > And with that, I believe we had responded to all the queries, and all the > issues raised had been addressed. > > After fixing these three nits, please note and write down my Approval > of the document at https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9845 > > Thanks! > > Carlos. > > >> On Sep 3, 2025, at 12:57 PM, Alice Russo <aru...@staff.rfc-editor.org> wrote: >> >> Carlos, Alex, >> >> Thank you for your replies; we have updated the document accordingly (URLs >> below). A few follow-ups: >> >> 1) Section 1.1: The new text provided does not cite [Telefonica2020], so >> this reference has been removed. Please let us know if you prefer otherwise. >> >> 2) Section 6.1 re: >>> [CMP] "there are opportunities to identify the most suitable location for >>> functionality in the network” is the best one yet. >>> [CMP] But we can discuss and re-confirm. >> >> >> Do you prefer A or B or otherwise? >> >> A) Current: >> Likewise, there are opportunities to correctly place functionality in >> the network for optimal effectiveness. >> >> B) Perhaps: >> Likewise, there are opportunities to identify the most suitable location >> for functionality in the network. >> >> >> 3) Header: re: >>> [CMP] Top-page: “NC State University & Blue Fern Consulting” or “NC State >>> University / Blue Fern Consulting" >>> [CMP] Authos’ Addresses: “North Carolina State University & Blue Fern >>> Consulting” >> >> The abbreviated organization appears long for the text file, i.e., it >> horizontally overlaps with the left side. Do you prefer to leave it or >> change to "NCSU & Blue Fern Consulting" or otherwise? >> >> [best viewed with fixed-width font] >> >> Internet Research Task Force (IRTF) A. Clemm, Ed. >> Request for Comments: 9845 Independent >> Category: Informational C. Pignataro, Ed. >> ISSN: 2070-1721 NC State University & Blue Fern Consulting >> C. Westphal >> >> [...] >> >> >> The revised files are here (please refresh): >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.html >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.txt >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.pdf >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.xml >> >> This diff file shows all changes from the approved I-D: >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-diff.html >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-rfcdiff.html (side by >> side) >> >> This diff file shows the changes made during AUTH48 thus far: >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48diff.html >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48rfcdiff.html (side >> by side) >> >> This diff file shows only the changes since the last posted version: >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-lastrfcdiff.html >> >> We will wait to hear from you again and from your coauthors before >> continuing the publication process. This page shows the AUTH48 status >> of your document: >> https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9845 >> >> Thank you. >> RFC Editor/ar -- auth48archive mailing list -- auth48archive@rfc-editor.org To unsubscribe send an email to auth48archive-le...@rfc-editor.org
