Authors,

While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) 
the following questions, which are also in the XML file.

1) <!-- [rfced] Because this document updates RFC 8059, please
review the errata reported for RFC 8059 
(https://www.rfc-editor.org/errata_search.php?rfc=8059).  We do not believe 
any are applicable to this document, but we would appreciate confirmation 
that this is correct. 
-->


2) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in
the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. -->


3) <!-- [rfced] [RFC6831] appears to use the terms "(S-EID,G)" and 
"(S-RLOC,G)" rather than "(root-EID, G)" and "(root-RLOC, G)". This is 
clarified later in the paragraph, but perhaps the sentences should be 
closer together and the original term defined in RFC 6831 should be noted 
first. 

Original:
   [RFC6831] specifies that (root-EID, G) data packets are to be LISP-
   encapsulated into (root-RLOC, G) multicast packets. ... We use the term 
   root-EID or root-RLOC to refer to the source of the multicast tree 
   rooted at the EID or RLOC.

Perhaps:
   [RFC6831] specifies that (EID, G) data packets are to be LISP-
   encapsulated into (RLOC, G) multicast packets. In this document, 
   we use the term root-EID or root-RLOC to refer to the source 
   of the multicast tree rooted at the EID or RLOC. ... 
-->


4) <!-- [rfced] Seemingly, the text points readers to RFCs 6831 and 9300 
for definitions of EID and RLOC.  Please review.

Original (both from the Introduction):
   Please refer to Section 3 of [RFC6831] for the
   definition of the terms EID and RLOC.

   ... 

   This document uses terminology defined in [RFC9300], such as EID,
   RLOC, ITR, and ETR.
-->


5) <!-- [rfced] Is (PxTR) the same as the site border node?  

Original: 
   Inter-site Proxy Tunnel Routers (PxTR):
     When multiple LISP sites are interconnected through a LISP-based
     transit, the site border node (PxTR) connects the site-facing
     interfaces with the external LISP core.

Perhaps: 
   Inter-site Proxy Tunnel Routers (PxTR):
     When multiple LISP sites are interconnected through a LISP-based
     transit, the site border node (i.e., PxTR) connects the site-facing
     interfaces with the external LISP core.
-->


6) <!-- [rfced] For clarity, we suggest including a section number (at 
minimum) and/or the text being replaced.  For example:

Original:
   The definition of the "Receiver RLOC" field of the Receiver ETR RLOC
   attribute RFC 8059 [RFC8059] is updated as follows:

   Receiver RLOC:
    The RLOC address on which the receiver ETR wishes to receive the
    encapsulated flow.  A unicast IP Receiver RLOC address is used for
    unicast-encapsulated flows.  Alternately, a multicast IP Receiver
    RLOC address is used for for multicast-encapsulated flows.  A
    multicast IP address MUST be used only when the underlay network of
    the LISP core supports IP Multicast transport.

Suggested:
   The definition of the "Receiver RLOC" field of the Receiver ETR RLOC
   attribute (see Section 5.1 of [RFC8059]) is updated as follows:

OLD: 
   Receiver RLOC:   The RLOC address on which the receiver ETR wishes to
      receiver the unicast-encapsulated flow.

NEW: 
   Receiver RLOC:
    The RLOC address on which the receiver ETR wishes to receive the
    encapsulated flow.  A unicast IP Receiver RLOC address is used for
    unicast-encapsulated flows.  Alternately, a multicast IP Receiver
    RLOC address is used for multicast-encapsulated flows.  A
    multicast IP address MUST be used only when the underlay network of
    the LISP core supports IP Multicast transport.
-->


7) <!-- [rfced] [RFC6831] uses the term "outgoing interface list" and 
"OIF-list"; we do not see use of the term "OutgoingInterfaceList".  
Please review.

Original:
   *  It allocates a new entry in the OutgoingInterfaceList RFC 6831
      [RFC6831] for every unique underlay multicast mapping.
-->


8) <!-- [rfced] Throughout the text, the following terminology appears to 
be used inconsistently. Please review these occurrences and let us know 
if/how they may be made consistent.  

Multicast vs multicast 


Note that we expanded the following abbreviations.  Please let us know if 
any updates are required. 

Routing Locator (RLOC) 
Tunnel Router (xTR)
-->


9) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the 
online Style Guide 
<https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
and let us know if any changes are needed.  Updates of this nature 
typically result in more precise language, which is helpful for readers.

Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should 
still be reviewed as a best practice.
-->


Thank you.

RFC Editor




On May 27, 2025, at 3:37 PM, rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org wrote:

*****IMPORTANT*****

Updated 2025/05/27

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--------------

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RFC Editor

--------------------------------------
RFC 9798 (draft-ietf-pim-jp-extensions-lisp-09)

Title            : PIM Join/Prune Attributes for LISP Environments using 
Underlay Multicast
Author(s)        : V. Govindan, S. Venaas
WG Chair(s)      : Stig Venaas, Mike McBride

Area Director(s) : Jim Guichard, Ketan Talaulikar, Gunter Van de Velde


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