Dear RFC Editors,

Following is our response to the questions raised by RFC Editors: Please
let us know if this is OK?


1) <!-- [rfced] How may we update the abbreviated title to better align
with the
document title? The acronym MOPS does not appear elsewhere in the
document, and the document title uses "Extended Reality" rather than "AR".

Note: The abbreviated title only appears in the pdf output (in the running
header at the top of each page).

OLD:
  MOPS AR Use Case

NEW:
  XR Use Case
-->



2) <!-- [rfced] The document title uses "a Use Case" and "Extended Reality
Application" (singular), while the abstract uses "use cases" and
"Extended Reality (XR) applications" (plural). Please review and let us
know if any updates are needed.

OLD:
Document title:
  Media Operations Use Case for an Extended Reality Application on Edge
  Computing Infrastructure

Abstract:
   This document explores the issues involved in the use of Edge
   Computing resources to operationalize media use cases that involve
   Extended Reality (XR) applications.
   ...
   In particular, this document
   discusses those applications that run on devices ...
-->

NEW:
Document title:
  Media Operations Use Case for an Extended Reality Application on Edge
  Computing Infrastructure

Abstract:
   This document explores the issues involved in the use of Edge
   Computing resources to operationalize a media use case that involves
   an Extended Reality (XR) application.
   ...
   In particular, this document
   discusses an application that can run on devices ...
-->



3) <!-- [rfced] Please review the placement of this sentence in the
abstract. Would it be helpful to move this sentence to be the last
sentence in the abstract? Or do you prefer the current location?
 Agreed, the following sentence should be moved to be the last sentence in
the abstract.
OLD:
   The intended audience for this document are network operators who are
   interested in providing edge computing resources to operationalize
   the requirements of such applications.
-->

4) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in
the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. -->

“low-latency”

“managed-cloud”

“offload”



5) <!-- [rfced] Section 1: Will readers understand what "This" refers to in
the
second sentence below? The first sentence is included for context.

OLD:
   Some XR applications
   such as AR require a real-time processing of video streams to
   recognize specific objects.  This is then used to overlay information
   on the video being displayed to the user.

NEW:
   Some XR applications
   such as AR require a real-time processing of video streams to
   recognize specific objects.  This processing is then used to overlay
information
   on the video being displayed to the user.


-->

6) <!-- [rfced] Section 1: May we update "XR applications such as AR" and
"XR
applications such as AR and VR" as follows for clarity?

Yes please!

OLD:
   Some XR applications
   such as AR require a real-time processing of video streams to
   recognize specific objects.
   ...
   In addition, XR
   applications such as AR and VR will also require generation of new
   video frames to be played to the user.

NEW:
   Some XR applications
   (such as AR applications) require  real-time processing of video streams
to
   recognize specific objects.
   ...
   In addition, other XR
   applications (such as AR and VR applications) will also require
generation
   of new video frames to be played to the user.


-->



7) <!-- [rfced] Section 1: May we combine these sentences as follows to
improve
readability?
Agreed!


OLD:
   Examples of form factors include Head Mounted Displays
   (HMD) such as Optical-see through HMDs and video-see-through HMDs and
   Hand-held displays.  Smart phones with video cameras and location
   sensing capabilities using systems such as a global navigation
   satellite system (GNSS) are another example of such devices.

NEW:
   Examples of form factors include the following: 1) head-mounted displays
   (HMDs), such as optical see-through HMDs and video see-through HMDs, 2)
   hand-held displays, and 3) smartphones with video cameras and location-
   sensing capabilities using systems such as a global navigation
   satellite system (GNSS).
-->



8) <!-- [rfced] Section 1: Is "motivates" the correct word choice here?
Would
"addresses", "examines", or something similar be better?

OLD:
   This document motivates these issues
   with a use-case that is presented in the following sections.

NEW:

   This document examines these issues
   with a use-case that is presented in the following sections.
-->



9) <!-- [rfced] Section 2: We updated "application with XR systems'
characteristics" as "application with characteristics of an XR
system". Would it be helpful to further update in one of the ways shown
below?

OLD:
   A use case is now described that involves an application with XR
   systems' characteristics.

Current:
   This use case involves an application with characteristics of an
   XR system.


NEW:
   This use case involves an XR application running on a mobile device.
-->



10) <!-- [rfced] Section 2.2: Will readers know what "the previous step" is?

OLD:
   The XR application must generate a high-quality video that has the
   properties described in the previous step and overlay the video on
   the XR device's display


NEW:
   The XR application must generate a high-quality video that has the
   properties described above and overlay the video on
   the XR device's display
-->



11) <!-- [rfced] Section 3: Should this sentence mention solutions in
addition to
challenges? We note the title of the section is "Technical Challenges and
Solutions".

OLD:
   This section will
   discuss the challenges such applications can face as a consequence.

NEW:
   This section
   discusses the challenges such applications can face as a consequence and
   offers some solutions.
-->



12) <!-- [rfced] Section 3: Is "indicates" the best word choice here? Would
"recommends", "suggests", or something similar be better?

OLD:
   Towards this end, a 3GPP study indicates an Ultra
   Reliable Low Latency of 0.1ms to 1ms for communication between an
   Edge server and User Equipment (UE) [URLLC].



NEW:
   Towards this end, a 3GPP study suggests an Ultra
   Reliable Low Latency of 0.1ms to 1ms for communication between an
   Edge server and User Equipment (UE) [URLLC].

-->



13) <!-- [rfced] Section 3: Please review the placement of the sentence
starting
with "Such operational parameters" in the last paragraph of this
section. Would it be helpful to incorporate this sentence into the first
sentence of the paragraph?

OLD:
   However, heavy-tailed nature of several operational parameters makes
   prediction-based adaptation by ABR algorithms sub-optimal [ABR_2].
   ...
   Such operational parameters include but are not limited
   to buffer occupancy, throughput, client-server latency, and variable
   transmission times.

NEW:
   However, the heavy-tailed nature of several operational parameters
   (e.g., buffer occupancy, throughput, client-server latency, and variable
   transmission times) makes prediction-based adaptation by ABR algorithms
sub-optimal
   [ABR_2].
-->



14) <!-- [rfced] Section 3: Will readers understand what "This" refers to
in the
second sentence below? The first sentence is included for context.

OLD:
   Other subtle issues with these distributions include
   the "expectation paradox" [HEAVY_TAIL_1] where the longer the wait
   for an event, the longer a further need to wait and the issue of
   mismatch between the size and count of events [HEAVY_TAIL_1].  This
   makes designing an algorithm for adaptation error-prone and
   challenging.

NEW:
   Other subtle issues with these
   distributions include the "expectation paradox" [HEAVY_TAIL_1] (the
   longer the wait for an event, the longer a further need to wait) and
   the mismatch between the size and count of events [HEAVY_TAIL_1].
   These issues make designing an algorithm for adaptation error-prone and
   challenging.
-->



15) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.1: Would it be helpful to point readers to a
specific
section here?

OLD:
   As discussed earlier, the parameters that capture the characteristics
   of XR application behavior are heavy-tailed.

NEW:
   As discussed in Sections 1 and 3, the parameters that capture the
characteristics
   of XR application behavior are heavy-tailed.
-->



16) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.1: We are having trouble understanding
"distribution of
arrival times between XR application invocation". Perhaps "invocation"
should be "invocations" (plural), or perhaps a word missing ("between XR
application invocation and X")? Please review.

OLD:
   Examples of such
   parameters include the distribution of arrival times between XR
   application invocation, the amount of data transferred, and the
   inter-arrival times of packets within a session.

NEW:
   Examples of such
   parameters include the distribution of arrival times between XR
   application invocations, the amount of data transferred, and the
   inter-arrival times of packets within a session.
-->



17) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.1: Please note that RFC 9450 is not a DETNET WG
document; it is a RAW WG document (see
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/rfc9450/). In addition, [RFC8939],
[RFC9023], and [RFC9450] have been published, so they are no longer
"being developed". How may we updated this sentence?

OLD:
   Providing Edge server support for the techniques being developed at
   the DETNET Working Group at the IETF [RFC8939], [RFC9023], [RFC9450]
   could guarantee performance of XR applications.

NEW:
   Providing support for Edge servers in techniques
   such as those described in [RFC8939], [RFC9023], and [RFC9450]
   could guarantee performance of XR applications.
-->



18) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.1: Is [RFC2210] is the correct citation here, or
should
it be [RFC2112]?  We ask because we see only one instance of "quality of
service" in the text of RFC 2210, and the title of RFC 2112 is
"Specification of Guaranteed Quality of Service".

OLD:
  Another option for the network operators could be to deploy equipment that
  supports differentiated services [RFC2475] or per-connection quality-
  of-service guarantees [RFC2210].

NEW:
  Another option for the network operators could be to deploy equipment that
  supports differentiated services [RFC2475] or per-connection quality-
  of-service guarantees using the RSVP protocol [RFC2210].
-->

19) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.1: May we move the following sentence to appear
before Table 1 rather than after it?
Agreed- please move the following sentence to appear
before Table 1 rather than after it
Original:
   Thus, the provisioning of edge servers in terms of the number of
   servers, the topology, where to place them, the assignment of link
   capacity, CPUs and GPUs should keep the above factors in mind.
-->



20) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.2: What is the relationship between Table 2 and
[METRICS_6]? We do not see the table in [METRIC_6].
The data in table 2 has been extracted from [METRIC_6]’s table V.
Original:
   The following Table 2 [METRICS_6] shows a taxonomy of applications
   with their associated required response times and bandwidths.
-->



21) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.2: FYI - We updated "section 5.1" to "Section
4.1"
here. Also, because Table 1 appears in Section 4.1, we updated to only
mention Section 4.1.
Agreed!


Original:
   Additionally, the required bandwidth for our use case as
   discussed in section 5.1, Table 1, is 200Mbps-1000Mbps.

Current:
   Additionally, the required bandwidth for our use case
   is 200 to 1000 Mbps (see Section 4.1).
-->



22) <!-- [rfced] Section 7: We do not see explicit mention of "streaming
applications" in [DIST], [NIST1], [CWE], and [NIST2]. Please confirm that
these citations and the phrasing of the text are correct.
Agreed!


OLD:
   The security issues for the presented use case are similar to other
   streaming applications [DIST], [NIST1], [CWE], [NIST2].

NEW:
   The security issues for the presented use case are similar to those
   described in [DIST], [NIST1], [CWE], and [NIST2].

-->



23) <!-- [rfced] Section 8 (Informative References)

a) We added DOIs and URLs to some reference entries. Please review for
correctness.


b) FYI - We updated the title of this reference entry as follows. Let us
know
any concerns.
Agreed!
OLDl:
   [AUGMENTED]
              Schmalstieg, D. S. and T.H. Hollerer, "Augmented
              Reality",  Addison Wesley, 2016.

NEW:
   [AUGMENTED]
              Schmalstieg, D. and T. Höllerer, "Augmented Reality:
              Principles and Practice", Addison-Wesley Professional,
              2016, <https://www.oreilly.com/library/view/augmented-
              reality-principles/9780133153217/>.


c) FYI - We updated the date in this reference entry from 2020 to 2022 per
https://arxiv.org/pdf/2001.10488. Let us know any concerns.
Agreed! 2022 edition is the revised version of the 2020 edition, so the
updated version is OK.
OLD:
   [HEAVY_TAIL_2]
              Taleb, N., "The Statistical Consequences of Fat Tails",
              STEM Academic Press, 2020.

NEW:
   [HEAVY_TAIL_2]
              Taleb, N., "Statistical Consequences of Fat Tails: Real
              World Preasymptotics, Epistemology, and Applications",
              Revised Edition, STEM Academic Press, 2022,
              <https://arxiv.org/pdf/2001.10488>.


d) FYI - We updated the date from 1982 to 2007 in this reference entry to
match the most current version of the book. Let us know any concerns.
Agreed!
See:
https://www.wiley.com/en-us/A+Primer+in+Data+Reduction%3A+An+Introductory+Statistics+Textbook-p-9780471101352

OLD:
   [HEAVY_TAIL_3]
              Ehrenberg, A., "A Primer in Data Reduction.", John Wiley,
              London, 1982.

NEW:
   [HEAVY_TAIL_3]
              Ehrenberg, A., "A Primer in Data Reduction: An
              Introductory Statistics Textbook", John Wiley and Sons,
              2007, <https://www.wiley.com/en-us/A+Primer+in+Data+Reduct
              ion%3A+An+Introductory+Statistics+Textbook-
              p-9780471101352>.


e) FYI - We updated the title of this reference entry as follows (i.e.,
added
"gDLS:"). Let us know any concerns.

Agreed!
OLD:
   [SLAM_2]   Sweeny, C., Fragoso, V., Hollerer, T., and M. Turk, "A
              scalable solution to the generalized pose and scale
              problem", In European Conference on Computer Vision, pp.
              16-31, 2014.

NEW:
   [SLAM_2]   Sweeny, C., Fragoso, V., Höllerer, T., and M. Turk, "gDLS:
              A Scalable Solution to the Generalized Pose and Scale
              Problem", Computer Vision - ECCV 2014, pp. 16-31,
              DOI 10.1007/978-3-319-10593-2_2, 2014,
              <https://link.springer.com/
              chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-10593-2_2>.
-->



24) <!-- [rfced] We note inconsistencies in the terms listed below. If no
objections, we will update to the form on the right (i.e., the lowercase
form). We see a mix of uppercase and lowercase use, but lowercase seems
more common. In addition, the lowercase form aligns with usage in several
other RFCs (e.g., RFC 9556).
No Objection!


Edge Computing vs. Edge computing vs. edge computing

Edge device vs. Edge Device vs. edge device

Edge server vs. edge server

Edge vs. edge
-->

25) <!-- [rfced] FYI - We added expansions for the following abbreviations
per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide"). Please review each
expansion in the document carefully to ensure correctness.
Reviewed, each expansion is correct.


Software-Defined Networking (SDN)
Graphics Processing Units (GPUs)
-->

26) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the
online
Style Guide <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language
>
and let us know if any changes are needed.  Updates of this nature typically
result in more precise language, which is helpful for readers.

Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should
still be reviewed as a best practice.

In addition, please consider whether "tradition" should be updated for
clarity.
While the NIST website
<
https://www.nist.gov/nist-research-library/nist-technical-series-publications-author-instructions#table1
>
indicates that this term is potentially biased, it is also ambiguous.
"Tradition" is a subjective term, as it is not the same for everyone.

Agreed!

OLD:

As seen from the table, the XR application such as our use case transmit a
larger amount of data per unit time as compared to traditional video
applications.

NEW:

As seen from the table, the XR application such as our use case transmit a
larger amount of data per unit time as compared to regular video
applications.
-->


Best regards,

Renan

On Tue, Dec 10, 2024 at 4:56 AM <rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org> wrote:

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> --------------------------------------
> RFC9699 (draft-ietf-mops-ar-use-case-18)
>
> Title            : Media Operations Use Case for an Extended Reality
> Application on Edge Computing Infrastructure
> Author(s)        : R. Krishna, A. Rahman
> WG Chair(s)      : Leslie Daigle, Kyle Rose
>
> Area Director(s) : Warren Kumari, Mahesh Jethanandani
>
>
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